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Band 4

Some people think that changing jobs periodically is good. What is your opinion?

#people #jobs
Some consider that alteration profession will grant many chances to people. In my mind, Every person
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to test different jobs which will create
Add an article
a
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new skill.
To begin
 with, Every person has a special talent.
According to
 their own talents, they will have access to new
work
. Some people are not sure which job is suitable for them.
As a result
, their time will be wasted to perform unnecessary things.
In addition
,
this
 condition will affect their mood.
For instance
, In older generation faced these situations. Everyone needed to
conrinue
Correct your spelling
continue
 their grandparent's
work
. Mostly, They are related to our motherland which is called Bukhara. These comprise the painter, dish-maker and so on, Even though, Some are not intriguing . On the other side, My opinion is that working in mixed professions will demonstrate our not open sides or careers.
While working
Correct word choice
Working
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 different kinds of
work
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will lead to
be
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
 a successful worker.
Together with
 these, It helps to raise our mood.
Such
 as, I am not only a teacher but
also
 a journalist. Busying with these will grant me more choices and magnificent pleasure.
Moreover
, At the time,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have been learning others.
For instance
, Being
Correct article usage
a bloger
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bloger
Correct your spelling
blogger
,
disigner
Correct your spelling
designer
 and so on, Trying is the best a wonderful choice those are granted by dear ALLAH.
To sum up
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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basicly, Humans ought to perform news
according to
 their fields,
that is
 Finding and working in other jobs is the most utilizable.
In other words
, are not opened skills will be opened if people decide to
work
 other
work
.
Submitted by sarvinozjumayeva813 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly presented and supported with relevant and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more coherently.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to improve your lexical resource score.
grammatical range accuracy
Work on your grammatical accuracy to avoid errors throughout your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Unfulfilling job
  • Mental health
  • Physical health
  • Financial stability
  • Job security
  • Societal norms
  • Career choices
  • Pursuing passion
  • Practicality
  • Personal growth
  • Skill development
  • Self-esteem
  • Social status
  • Work-life balance
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