The media is increasing interest in famous people who have ordinary backgrounds. Why do you think people are interested in the lives of famous people? Do you think this is a good thing?
It is a
lot
of people
argued that the interest of
media is increasing in famous regular and ordinary backgrounds Change preposition
in
people
nowadays. This
essay will discuss first about
my Remove the preposition
apply
thought
on why Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
people
are interested in their kind of lives, and second the reason of
the goodness of it, straight Change preposition
for
it
to my opinion in summary.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
First,
I think people
really want to know other people
lives especially in the past because of their humanityChange noun form
people's
insting
. Verb problem
apply
Moreover
, it is like fear of missing out of
other Change preposition
on
people
’s information. However
, humans are more like to know the the struggle of people
who have ordinary backgrounds until they are successful. For example
, in my country in Indonesia, a lot
of channels in
Change preposition
on
the
television especially night shows Correct article usage
apply
are
Verb problem
apply
showing
Wrong verb form
show
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
who have a regular activities in the past. It is a good thing to showing
how they are struggling Wrong verb form
show
their
life.
Change preposition
in their
Furthermore
, they
are a Correct pronoun usage
there
lot
of benefits of knowing their activities in their previous lives, we
as the watcher can learn something Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
their speech. Change preposition
from
For instance
, they can tell their stories, started
when they not Wrong verb form
starting
having
a good economy and how they Wrong verb form
have
struggling
for their life until they became a rich person. Wrong verb form
struggled
Therefore
, a lot
of people
would be inspired of
their stories and perhaps Change preposition
by
starting
to Wrong verb form
start
following
the path that those Wrong verb form
follow
people
had.
In summary, knowing people
situations in the past is not really that bad. Change noun form
people's
Thus
, it could encouraging
Change the verb form
encourage
be encouraging
people
who are trying to make their life
better and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
very
useful for many Add a missing verb
is very
people
who have listened to them.Submitted by twiggseducationbdg on
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task achievement
The essay lacks a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the question. Make sure to state your opinion clearly in the introduction.
task achievement
The examples provided are not specific and do not support your main points effectively. Be more specific and use relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat unclear. Ensure that your ideas are organized logically and coherently throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points could be further supported with additional explanation or evidence. Provide more details to reinforce your arguments.