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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during 1990s

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during 1990s
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The pie chart displays the particular reasons for the unproductiveness of agricultural farms. Whilst, the table illustrates how the three regions are affected by
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 during the period of 1990s. In general, over-grazing, deforestation, and
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 are the major causes of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 on a global scale, but the motives behind less productive
land
Use synonyms
 in several regions vary. During the period of 1990s, over-grazing of livestock was the most vital factor accounting for 35% of
land
Use synonyms
 being affected by
this
Linking Words
 particular cause, followed by deforestation (30%),
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 of specific crops (28%), and the remaining 7% are made up by other factors.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Europe
Use synonyms
 had the highest total of
land
Use synonyms
 degraded accounting for 23% followed by Australia and New Zealand at about 13%, and the lowest was North
America
Use synonyms
 in specific of total
land
Use synonyms
 decreased was 5%. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, deforestation was the most significant factor in
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 in
Europe
Use synonyms
 (9,8%) compared to Oceania (1,7%) and North
America
Use synonyms
 (0,2%). In terms of
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 of certain crops was the main cause of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 in
Europe
Use synonyms
 accounting for 7.7%, compared to North
America
Use synonyms
 (3.3%) and interestingly, there was no case of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 caused by
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 in Oceania.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 region, the main cause of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 in Oceania was over-grazing of livestock with a total of 11.3% of
land
Use synonyms
 affected in
this
Linking Words
 way, followed by
Europe
Use synonyms
 just about 5.5% and the least affected
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 over-grazing in
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 was North
America
Use synonyms
 about 1.5% of total
land
Use synonyms
 affected.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words land, degradation, over-cultivation, europe, america with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Agricultural productivity
  • Deforestation
  • Over-cultivation
  • Overgrazing
  • Soil erosion
  • Nutrient depletion
  • Land degradation
  • Soil compaction
  • Fertility
  • Preventive measures
  • Sustainable farming practices
  • Environmental impact
  • Economic implications
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