The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less. The table show these causes affected three regions of world during the 1990s.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less. The table show these causes affected three regions of world during the 1990s.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie chart provides information about the
percentage
of four factors that
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
less
productive
Replace the word
productivity
show examples
of agricultural
land
,
while
the given table illustrates the
proportion
of
three
factors that affected
three
regions of the world during the 1990s.
Overall
, over-grazing
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the biggest
proportion
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
causes
of agricultural
land
becomes
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
less productive
while
the other is the lowest.
In addition
, Europe had the highest
percentage
of
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
causes
of
land
degradation
while
North America had the lowest
percentage
except for
over-cultivation
.
To begin
with, over-grazing is the main factor on why agricultural
land
becomes less productive. It takes 35% of all reasons.
Next,
28% of that phenomenon is caused by
over-cultivation
.
Deforestation
takes 30% of the
causes
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
less productive
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
agricultural
land
. 7% of other factors
also
contribute
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
less productive agricultural
land
. In Europe,
deforestation
,
over-cultivation
, and over-grazing
ware
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
always
took
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the highest
proportion
of the
causes
of
land
degradation compared to the other two countries. The
percentage
were 9.8%, 7.7%, and 5.5% for
deforestation
,
over-cultivation
, and over-grazing respectively with
total
Add an article
the total
a total
show examples
number was 23%. Oceania
also
had the same problem
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
Europe except for
over-cultivation
.
Deforestation
and over-grazing took 1.7% and 11.3% respectively on that phenomenon
while
over-cultivation
took 0%. The total number of that destruction was 13%.
Lastly
, in North America, the
three
reasons
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
that phenomenon took the lowest
proportion
except for the
over-cultivation
. The
percentage
was 0.2% for
deforestation
, 3.3% for
over-cultivation
, and 1.5% for over-grazing with
total
Add an article
the total
a total
show examples
number was 5%.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, causes, land, proportion, three, over-cultivation, deforestation with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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