The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less. The table show these causes affected three regions of world during the 1990s.
The
given
pie chart provides information about the Verb problem
apply
percentage
of four factors that Use synonyms
Use synonyms
causes
less Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
productive
of agricultural Replace the word
productivity
land
, Use synonyms
while
the given table illustrates the Linking Words
proportion
of Use synonyms
three
factors that affected Use synonyms
three
regions of the world during the 1990s.
Use synonyms
Overall
, over-grazing Linking Words
have
the biggest Change the verb form
has
proportion
Use synonyms
about
the Change preposition
of
causes
of agricultural Use synonyms
land
Use synonyms
becomes
less productive Wrong verb form
becoming
while
the other is the lowest. Linking Words
In addition
, Europe had the highest Linking Words
percentage
of Use synonyms
Use synonyms
three
Correct article usage
the three
causes
of Use synonyms
land
degradation Use synonyms
while
North America had the lowest Linking Words
percentage
except for Use synonyms
over-cultivation
.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, over-grazing is the main factor on why agricultural Linking Words
land
becomes less productive. It takes 35% of all reasons. Use synonyms
Next,
28% of that phenomenon is caused by Linking Words
over-cultivation
. Use synonyms
Deforestation
takes 30% of the Use synonyms
causes
Use synonyms
on
less productive Change preposition
of
of
agricultural Change preposition
apply
land
. 7% of other factors Use synonyms
also
contribute Linking Words
on
less productive agricultural Change preposition
to
land
.
In Europe, Use synonyms
deforestation
, Use synonyms
over-cultivation
, and over-grazing Use synonyms
ware
always Correct your spelling
were
took
the highest Verb problem
apply
proportion
of the Use synonyms
causes
of Use synonyms
land
degradation compared to the other two countries. The Use synonyms
percentage
were 9.8%, 7.7%, and 5.5% for Use synonyms
deforestation
, Use synonyms
over-cultivation
, and over-grazing respectively with Use synonyms
total
number was 23%. Oceania Add an article
the total
a total
also
had the same problem Linking Words
with
Europe except for Change preposition
as
over-cultivation
. Use synonyms
Deforestation
and over-grazing took 1.7% and 11.3% respectively on that phenomenon Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
over-cultivation
took 0%. The total number of that destruction was 13%. Use synonyms
Lastly
, in North America, the Linking Words
three
reasons Use synonyms
on
that phenomenon took the lowest Change preposition
for
proportion
except for the Use synonyms
over-cultivation
. The Use synonyms
percentage
was 0.2% for Use synonyms
deforestation
, 3.3% for Use synonyms
over-cultivation
, and 1.5% for over-grazing with Use synonyms
total
number was 5%.Add an article
the total
a total
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, causes, land, proportion, three, over-cultivation, deforestation with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼