Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

this

digital era, it is noteworthy that adolescents devote a huge amount of their time to their gadgets. Tragically, some of them even developed smartphone addiction at a very young age.

This

behaviour is tightly linked to the growing trends in mobile application usage among children.

However

, I view

this

habit as a negative evolution that disadvantages juvenile growth and development in the long run. It is evident that gadgets are especially interesting to kids as their main source of entertainment. Numerous mobile applications are widely accessible to fill the leisure time they have on a daily basis.

This

behaviour arises from the tendency of

a young married couples

Correct the article-noun agreement

young married couples

a young married couple

show examples

to distract their youngsters using digital gadgets.

As a result

, children will feel more engaged in certain internet-based activities rather than building meaningful connections with their parents.

Although

it may provide some enjoyment to their offspring,

this

manner will eventually corrupt the human interactions within the family.

Moreover

, numerous research

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

revealed the negative impact of smartphones on mental health and well-being among youths. Despite its unparalleled access to any kind of digital amusement, the threat posed by explicit content and misinformations remains a formidable challenge. Nowadays, many adolescents are developing an addiction to explicit content

due to

their excessive time spent on the internet.

This

addiction ultimately resulted in multiple personality disorders, deteriorating their mental health condition in the long term.

In addition

, internet-based interactions are not considered as a real interaction. Numerous studies have linked

this

virtual interaction with the growing number of depression incidents among children.

This

development resulted from the extremely shallow network that we built on the internet,

therefore

leaving the users with feelings of loneliness and depression. In conclusion, in spite of the advantages brought by smartphones, it is notable that the excessive usage of

this

technology will contribute to negative development for teenagers.

This

unfavorable

Change the spelling

unfavourable

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threat posed by mobile applications

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

mainly attributable to their effect on mental health and well-being, the poor quality of human interaction within the family, and depression.

Submitted by annisasdn on Wed Oct 18 2023

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Task Achievement

Provide a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction.

Task Achievement

Provide a more balanced view by including some potential positive aspects of children spending hours on smartphones.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to have a clear topic sentence for each paragraph to enhance the coherence.

Task Achievement

Include more supporting examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.

Lexical Resource

Use more varied vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

339 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

4.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You share your room with another studer in the college hostel. You find it very difficult to study there because he or She always has parties and friends visiting. write a letter to the hostel warden complaining about your displeasure with the roommate.

It might be said that protecting the environment is the most important challenge facing governments today. How important do you feel this issue is? Are there other challenges which are of equal or greater importance?

Literature is deemed by many high school students to be a boring and unneccessary subject. Why is this in case? Is literature of any use to young people at all?

People in big cities are facing many health challenges due to a high level of air pollution. What causes air pollution in big cities? Can you suggest some ways to deal with this situation?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.