Many people join distance-learning programmes (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree?
It is becoming
more
common topic to discuss about distance-learning programmes.Many Correct article usage
a more
people
join these programs and study at home, thinking that it will be more beneficial than attending colleges and universities. But others, including myself, standing
for the traditional way of education.
Wrong verb form
stand
Firstly
, attendance
university or Replace the word
attending
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
bring
more practical knowledge, which is considered as main part of education. Research from the University of Oxford shows that Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
people
, who learn traditionally, are able to use their knowledge in real life more often and better than those, who learn online. For instance
, we can show examples of richest
Correct article usage
the richest
people
on earth. Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg - all of them have studied at universities. With right
tutor, it is Add an article
the right
more
easier to achieve your goal. They can help you grow in the right order.
Another point to consider is the importance of self-discipline in Change the word
apply
distance-learning
. With today's mental health in Correct your spelling
distance learning
people
it seems difficult. Because there are a lot of internet things that can interfere Add a comma
people,
you
. Social media, watching movies or Change preposition
with you
tv
series, etc - can be examples of interfering factors. Correct your spelling
TV
Moreover
, without a person who can show you the right path in difficult times, it is easy to lose your way.
To sum
up
everything that has been stated so far, it is better to attend universities or colleges in order to find Add a comma
up,
Correct article usage
the righ
righ
tutor, who can help you to grow and bring more practical knowledge, that you will be able to use in real life.Correct your spelling
right
Submitted by croownguuard on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak. It lacks a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You should organize your thoughts and ideas more coherently.
task achievement
Your essay lacks specific examples and evidence to support your points. Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Focus on developing your ideas more effectively and providing more detailed explanations and analysis. This will improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Review your grammar and sentence structure to ensure accuracy and clarity. Some sentences are unclear or contain errors.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to convey your ideas more effectively. Avoid repetition and aim for more precise and varied word choices.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.