Many people join distance-learning programmes (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #programmes #study #post #tv #internet #home #benefit #colleges #universities

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It is becoming

Correct article usage

a more

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common topic to discuss about distance-learning programmes.Many

people

join these programs and study at home, thinking that it will be more beneficial than attending colleges and universities. But others, including myself,

standing

Wrong verb form

stand

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for the traditional way of education.

Firstly

attendance

Replace the word

attending

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university or

colleges

Fix the agreement mistake

college

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bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

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more practical knowledge, which is considered as main part of education. Research from the University of Oxford shows that

people

, who learn traditionally, are able to use their knowledge in real life more often and better than those, who learn online.

For instance

, we can show examples of

richest

Correct article usage

the richest

show examples

people

on earth. Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg - all of them have studied at universities. With

right

Add an article

the right

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tutor, it is

Change the word

apply

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easier to achieve your goal. They can help you grow in the right order. Another point to consider is the importance of self-discipline in

distance-learning

Correct your spelling

distance learning

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. With today's mental health in

people

Add a comma

people,

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it seems difficult. Because there are a lot of internet things that can interfere

you

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with you

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. Social media, watching movies or

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show examples

series, etc - can be examples of interfering factors.

Moreover

, without a person who can show you the right path in difficult times, it is easy to lose your way.

To sum

Add a comma

up,

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everything that has been stated so far, it is better to attend universities or colleges in order to find

Correct article usage

the righ

show examples

righ

Correct your spelling

right

tutor, who can help you to grow and bring more practical knowledge, that you will be able to use in real life.

Submitted by croownguuard on Wed Oct 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is weak. It lacks a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You should organize your thoughts and ideas more coherently.

task achievement

Your essay lacks specific examples and evidence to support your points. Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Focus on developing your ideas more effectively and providing more detailed explanations and analysis. This will improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your essay.

grammatical range accuracy

Review your grammar and sentence structure to ensure accuracy and clarity. Some sentences are unclear or contain errors.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary to convey your ideas more effectively. Avoid repetition and aim for more precise and varied word choices.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

flexibility
convenience
accessibility
independence
communication
interaction
academic resources
extracurricular activities
hands-on experience
peer support
time management
procrastination
motivation
feedback
structured learning environment

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Many people join distance-learning programmes (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Being overweight has become a major health concern in many parts of the world. Explain the causes for being overweight and provide solutions.

Discuss the importance of art education in schools. How does exposure to art impact students’ creativity and overall development?

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?

Some people believe that it is better to live and work in a vertical city with multiple tall buildings, as compared to a horizontal city with fewer tall buildings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.