In order for the world to be a ‘greener’ place, punishment and fines for environmentally unfriendly acts committed by individuals need to be more severe. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Giving more severe punishments and

fines

Use synonyms

for individuals who harm our nature is one of the solutions to keep our world greener. I believe that increasing

fines

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to a higher amount and applying longer duration of

jail

Use synonyms

punishments could increase

people

Use synonyms

’s awareness of keeping green.

To begin

Linking Words

with, increasing the number of

fines

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would be more effective to prevent

people

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from misconduct towards their environment. The reason is money plays a valuable role in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society, especially

Rephrase

when it

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is earned with toil and sacrifice, so they do not want to lose it solely to pay

fines

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Moreover

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, setting a low level of

fines

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will reduce the urgency of the rules.

People

Use synonyms

would easily disobey it since they can afford the

fines

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For example

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, Indonesians tend to pay for plastic bags from the minimarket rather than bring their environmentally friendly eco-bag. In my opinion,

this

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rule is not effective at all since the punishment of giving Rp 2,000 additional charge is too cheap.

Additionally

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, more severe punishments like longer duration in

jail

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would be the best idea to encourage

people

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to obey the rules.

This

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would affect their career life since some companies need a letter of evidence that

people

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are free from misconduct behaviour, especially from

jail

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Moreover

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, it should be supported by the law to be more strict and fairer to the suspect.

For instance

Linking Words

people

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will

considerate

Replace the word

consider

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

not

litter

Wrong verb form

littering

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in the river since the punishment of being jailed

is clearly come

Change to the active voice

clearly comes

has clearly come

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to their mind. In conclusion, setting a higher number of

fines

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will make

people

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think twice

Change preposition

about

show examples

their behaviour. It could be a big companion if longer

jail

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also

Linking Words

implemented to create a greener world in an effective way.

misstiasclassroomWed Oct 18 2023

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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In order for the world to be a ‘greener’ place, punishment and fines for environmentally unfriendly acts committed by individuals need to be more severe. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people think that science should be part of everyone's education, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give opinion

Write a letter in response to the parent. In your letter, you should: • discuss and evaluate the issues raised by the parent in the letter • give your own views about teaching life skills and whether you think these lessons should replace other subjects in the curriculum.

Advances in science and technology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?