In order for the world to be a ‘greener’ place, punishment and fines for environmentally unfriendly acts committed by individuals need to be more severe. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Giving more severe punishments and
fines
for individuals who harm our nature is one of the solutions to keep our world greener. I believe that increasing
fines
to a higher amount and applying longer duration of
jail
punishments could increase
people
’s awareness of keeping green.
To begin
with, increasing the number of
fines
would be more effective to prevent
people
from misconduct towards their environment. The reason is money plays a valuable role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, especially
it
Rephrase
when it
show examples
is earned with toil and sacrifice, so they do not want to lose it solely to pay
fines
.
Moreover
, setting a low level of
fines
will reduce the urgency of the rules.
People
would easily disobey it since they can afford the
fines
.
For example
, Indonesians tend to pay for plastic bags from the minimarket rather than bring their environmentally friendly eco-bag. In my opinion,
this
rule is not effective at all since the punishment of giving Rp 2,000 additional charge is too cheap.
Additionally
, more severe punishments like longer duration in
jail
would be the best idea to encourage
people
to obey the rules.
This
would affect their career life since some companies need a letter of evidence that
people
are free from misconduct behaviour, especially from
jail
.
Moreover
, it should be supported by the law to be more strict and fairer to the suspect.
For instance
,
people
will
considerate
Replace the word
consider
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not
litter
Wrong verb form
littering
show examples
in the river since the punishment of being jailed
is clearly come
Change to the active voice
clearly comes
has clearly come
show examples
to their mind. In conclusion, setting a higher number of
fines
will make
people
think twice
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
their behaviour. It could be a big companion if longer
jail
is
also
implemented to create a greener world in an effective way.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: