Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well
The age between 13-19 are the ages that
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
tend to learn new things and have the enthusiasm to experience new things and go on adventures. So, there are people who tend to believe that teenagers should be given unpaid community
work
during their free time
which can result in a flourished and developed community
. I also
agree on
the above-mentioned statement that Change preposition
with
this
can motivate teenagers to gain benefits for themselves and
Correct word choice
apply
as well as
for the community
.
To embark
on, doing social and Fix the infinitive
Embark
community
can easily benefit the
personality development at a young age. During the period of Correct article usage
apply
community
work
, the children
tend to meet different individuals and tend to work
in
different projects Change preposition
on
therefor
, it leads to Correct your spelling
therefore
polish
their networking, organization, management, negotiation and communication Change the verb form
polishing
skills
. As an example, if they are organizing a community
event, there are several aspects to look into such
as event planning, coordination, fund raising
, event management etc. In Correct your spelling
fundraising
such
events
the Add a comma
events,
children
get exposed in a practical environment and they tend to learn new skills
while
at work
. These skills
benefit them in the long run in their lives. Apart from these, working in community
work
, they get exposed to life values such
as tolerance, patience, team spirit, leadership
. Young minds like these are the Correct word choice
and leadership
back bone
of the country Correct your spelling
backbone
therefor
, they can learn so many things without going in the wrong path by wasting Correct your spelling
therefore
time
. While
working and developing these skills
these teenagers will be able to be confident and self-satisfied about themselves. However
, there can be drawbacks as well. If the children
do not time
manage themselves along with
the
studies, the pressure from school, parents and teachers will be Change the word
their
more
. Correct word choice
greater
Therefor
, the Correct your spelling
Therefore
children
should manage their time
without disturbing their studies.
To conclude
, I believe the notion of a teenager working unpaid during their free time
indeed
a good opportunity Add a missing verb
is indeed
to
the Change preposition
for
children
to learn and explore with proper monitoring to avoid pressure for school studies.Submitted by shazraibrahimphotography2 on
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task achievement
Consider using more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are clearly related to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Provide a stronger conclusion by summarizing your main points.
grammatical range accuracy
Check the consistency of tenses throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary to enhance your essay.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion