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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003-2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003-2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph gives information about changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
incidents
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 burglary,
car
Use synonyms
 theft and
robbery
Use synonyms
 in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of
Newport
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
 within nine
years
Use synonyms
, from 2003 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of situations in
car
Use synonyms
 theft and
robbery
Use synonyms
 had the same
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 throughout nine
years
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 in burglary decreased from 2003 to 2012 in
Newport
Use synonyms
city
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,the
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 theft and
robbery
Use synonyms
 crimes had the same
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 in 2012 compared to 2003.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
car
Use synonyms
 thefts decreased gradually from 2003 to 2006, reaching its minimum
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 in 2006, 2100
incidents
Use synonyms
 respectively. Beginning from 2006 till 2012 it fluctuated,
however
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 became more popular and returned to the same
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 in 2012, about 2800
incidents
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 of
robbery
Use synonyms
 increased and reached its peak in 2005, counting approximately 800
incidents
Use synonyms
.
Netx
Correct your spelling
Next
 seven
years
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 fluctuated and returned to the same
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 as
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in 2003,
estimating
Wrong verb form
estimated
show examples
 around 600
incidents
Use synonyms
 in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of
Newport
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
burglaries
Use synonyms
 reached its peak in 2004, counting about 3700
incidents
Use synonyms
, beginning from 2003. Next four
years
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
burglaries
Use synonyms
 changed dramatically, decreasing the statistics of
burglaries
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. In 2008, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
burglaries
Use synonyms
 reached its minimum
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
, approximately 1300
incidents
Use synonyms
, and within the next four
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 it came to 1400
incidents
Use synonyms
 in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of
Newport
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words incidents, car, robbery, newport, city, years, number, burglaries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 16 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instances of crime
  • significant decline
  • noticeable change
  • fluctuating trend
  • relatively stable
  • minor fluctuations
  • dramatic reduction
  • converged towards
  • crime rate
  • time frame
  • notable trajectory
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