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Writing Samples
Band 3

the diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured.

the diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured.
#instant #noodles
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The
process
Use synonyms
 diagram demonstrates methods,
which are
Verb problem
that
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produced
Wrong verb form
produce
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 instant noodles.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that
this
Linking Words
 product passes eight
Use synonyms
process
Change to a plural noun
processes
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 in a factory. Commencing with storing flour in silos and culminating in
labelling
Add an article
the labelling
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 of ready products.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the flour is delivered by lorry to the storage silos, where keeps all bulk products. The second step is
preparation
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the preparation
a preparation
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 of the
dough
Use synonyms
 with
assistance
Add an article
the assistance
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 of
mixer
Correct article usage
a mixer
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. For that water, oil and flour are combined into a sizable bowl
then
Linking Words
mixer
Correct article usage
the mixer
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 kneads
Use synonyms
dough
Correct article usage
the dough
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. The next stage is through rollers the
dough
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 rolls over repeatedly to form
dough
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 sheets. After that,
Change preposition
apply
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from
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apply
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long and strip sheets are made noodles discs through
dough
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 strips.
At
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In
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this
Linking Words
process
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, the prepared discs are dried and cooked. In the seventh
process
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, into many cups are added necessary vegetables and spices with noodles.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
process
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 concludes with labelling and sealing cups.
Submitted by gulnurayau on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, dough with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • mixing ingredients
  • dough preparation
  • sheeting
  • steaming
  • cutting techniques
  • dehydration
  • deep-frying
  • cooling system
  • packaging
  • quality control
  • production line
  • mass production
  • food preservation
  • convenience food
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