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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graphs
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 information concerning the
number
Use synonyms
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
that was
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 priced in Japan, France, Germany, and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 between 1994 and 2004. The data can be divided into two groups, namely the
number
Use synonyms
 that experienced an upward trend and a downward trend. Figures are given in the US dollars per kilogram.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
Use synonyms
bananas
Correct article usage
the bananas
show examples
 rate in Japan was the greatest
number
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 USA was the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of the four.
To begin
Linking Words
 with Japan, in 1994, the
Use synonyms
bananas's
Change noun form
bananas
show examples
 price was the largest
number
Use synonyms
 starting approximately at 1.90 before a
dramatically
Change the adverb
dramatic
show examples
 augmentation to about 2.90 in 1995 which is the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 price over the given information. Moving on to
bananas
Use synonyms
 value in France, Germany and the USA, they showed a similar trend to
remained
Wrong verb form
remain
show examples
 stable at lower than 2.00 and higher roughly than 0.80 over the period. It is
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 to note that there was one year that
bananas
Use synonyms
 priced in France
was
Verb problem
had
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 the highest
number
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in 2001
however
Linking Words
was
Verb problem
apply
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the lowest
number
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 in 2003.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, bananas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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