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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below show the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The above graph indicates the number of
crimes
Use synonyms
 that took place in three different areas of New Port city centre from 2003 to 2012. The 3 main
crimes
Use synonyms
 were categorized as
burglary
Use synonyms
,
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 and
robbery
Use synonyms
. From year 2003-2012
robbery
Use synonyms
incidents
Use synonyms
 were relatively low compared to
Burglary
Use synonyms
 and
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 during the recorded period.
Burglary
Use synonyms
incidents
Use synonyms
 were recorded highest in 2003 and it has gradually declined over the years till 2012.
Car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
incidents
Use synonyms
 were recorded at around 2750 and were constant till the year 2005. From 2006-2010 the sum of
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
incidents
Use synonyms
 fluctuated and took a steep increase in 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
 from 2010-2012, the number of
car
Use synonyms
incidents
Use synonyms
 were reclined. As per the graph data,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in 2003 there were 3,500
burglary
Use synonyms
incidents
Use synonyms
 were recorded and in 2004
this
Linking Words
 increased
however
Linking Words
 from 2004 onwards the number of
incidents
Use synonyms
 decreased till 2012
According to
Linking Words
 the data, in 2003
robbery
Use synonyms
crimes
Use synonyms
 were at 500 and in 2005 they went up to 1000 and
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in 2012 they were recorded as less than 1000.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the remaining period,
robbery
Use synonyms
incidents
Use synonyms
 were recorded less than the other 2
crimes
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crimes, burglary, car, theft, robbery, incidents with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • changes
  • took place
  • three different areas of crime
  • New Port city center
  • from 2003 to 2012
  • summarise
  • information
  • selecting
  • reporting
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • where relevant
  • overall
  • crime rates
  • downward trend
  • most significant drop
  • observed
  • theft
  • burglary
  • on the other hand
  • slight increase
  • drug-related offenses
  • same period
  • declined steadily
  • significant decrease
  • 10-year period
  • in contrast
  • slight decline
  • remaining years
  • violent crimes
  • relatively stable
  • slight fluctuation
  • conclusion
  • recorded
  • small increase
  • initially
  • then declined slightly
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