IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the line graph shows stock prices of four different high-tech companies between 2011 and 2016.

the line graph shows stock prices of four different high-tech companies between 2011 and 2016.
#line #stock #prices #four #companies
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The line graph illustrates the development of prices of stocks of Google, Yahoo, Apple and
Facebook
Use synonyms
 from 2011 to 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, all four
companies
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 had different developments over the
years
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,
however
Linking Words
, Google had the cheapest
price
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Facebook
Use synonyms
 the highest one during the
period
Use synonyms
, without considering the fluctuation of other businesses. At the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
,
Facebook
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together with
Linking Words
 Yahoo had the most expensive
stock
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 of nearly 7,5
thousand
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 in the following
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
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 their development trends were completely opposite. Yahoo experienced a strong downtrend dropping significantly
down
Rephrase
apply
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by 5
thousand
Use synonyms
, respectively. In terms of
Facebook
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, it was the only one indicating strong exponential growth, surpassing all other
companies
Use synonyms
 in the following
years
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 and having the most expensive
stock
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 of 20
thousand
Use synonyms
, which is 3 times higher than other
companies
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to
linear
Correct article usage
the linear
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 development of previously mentioned
companies
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, Apple had
bog
Correct your spelling
a big
show examples
 fluctuation over the
years
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, its
stock
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 of 5
thousand
Use synonyms
 stayed almost the same comparing the start and the end of the given
period
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. In the first
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 the
price
Use synonyms
 grew dramatically reaching the high point of nearly 35
thousand
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, after which it dropped again to under 10
thousand
Use synonyms
. In the following
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 the
price
Use synonyms
 fluctuated but not that significantly. When comes to Google, its
stock
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price
Use synonyms
 was stable throughout the whole
period
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, its
price
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 was the lowest of all, being under 2.5
thousand
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Submitted by katja.otavina on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words facebook, companies, years, price, period, stock, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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