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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what anthropology graduates from on university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five yeas.

The chart below shows what anthropology graduates from on university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five yeas.
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #yeas
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The pie chart gives information about the destination of anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 from one university
as well as
Linking Words
 their salaries after five years of working.
Overall
Linking Words
, more than half of the
graduates
Use synonyms
 landed on
a full-time
Remove the article
full-time work
a full-time job
show examples
work
Use synonyms
, followed by part-time workers and those who are still unemployed after graduating. Meanwhile, most of the anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 who
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 as freelance consultants and government employees have their salaries ranging from $75,000 to $100,000+.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a lot of students who graduated with an anthropology degree acquired a full-time job, with an average of 52% of the total.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by those who have part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and unemployed
graduates
Use synonyms
, with around 15% and 12%, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, those who pursued their study with
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 have the lowest percentage of all, which only have 5% of the whole. After their five years of
work
Use synonyms
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
freelance consultants and those who are in
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 sector are receiving wages that
ranges
Change the verb form
range
show examples
 from $75,000 to $100,000+, respectively. Employees of private companies' salaries are juggling around $50,000 to $100,000+, which was illustrated from 25% to 35% rate.
Lastly
Linking Words
, after five years working in three sectors who
receives
Correct subject-verb agreement
receive
show examples
 wages from $25,000-$49,000 did not go over 10%.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, work with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • anthropology graduates
  • undergraduate degree course
  • chart
  • table
  • findings
  • conclusions
  • salary data
  • comparisons
  • summarize
  • opinion
  • suggestions
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