All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tracked?

At a global level,
obesity
has become a growing
health
condition among people of all age groups
due to
numerous factors, including our habits of food consumption and our social activities.
While
this
problem does more harm than good, there are several approaches to track and prevent the consequences it may cause.
To begin
with,
obesity
has been a long-term concern of
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
health
practitioners and patients
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
after
years
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year
show examples
, since it is related to our daily eating habits and physical state. Reports show that the
amount
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number
show examples
of overweight people
are
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is
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inevitably high in America
due to
its growing
fast food
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fast-food
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economy.
Instead
of preparing a proper nutritious meal, children, and young professionals excessively indulge in
calorie-rich
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a calorie-rich
show examples
diet or sugary foods just to ease their hunger or raise their dopamine level.
In addition
, inactivity and
sedentary
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a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle
also
result in
this
issue and other serious chronic diseases,
such
as diabetes or cardiovascular diseases. Binge-watching and playing games over a long period
also
contribute to
this
matter. To solve
this
problem, there are countless ways to track
obesity
and prevent its potential danger.
This
involves the cooperation of government and public
health
initiatives to go over strict food regulations, and educational campaigns
for raising
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to raise
show examples
awareness in schools and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
. In order to track our
health
, especially the body fat percentage, there are some methods, including BMI assessment and regular
health
check-ups to identify the root cause. Apart from getting support from public
health
organizations, individuals are responsible for their own
health
. Taking Japanese cuisine as an example, the ingredients in every meal are fresh and vitamin-rich. Promoting a balanced diet with
active
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an active
show examples
lifestyle are
strategies
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strategy
show examples
to combat
obesity
and any medical diseases, and increase life expectancy. In conclusion, it is well-stated that
obesity
has
such
an alarming effect
to
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on
show examples
individuals, governments and
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
sector. Unless there are special attention and detailed programs to educate the public,
this
disease will likely
to
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apply
show examples
grow in the near future.
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task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task. Your essay addresses both the reasons for the rise in obesity and how it could be tracked. Well done!
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and coherent. You have a clear introduction, body paragraphs that support your main points, and a conclusion. However, it would be beneficial to provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally good, but there are a few areas where you could improve. Try to use more varied vocabulary and expressions to make your essay more engaging.
grammatical range accuracy
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are a few minor errors. Make sure to review the rules for verb tenses and article usage.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Overweight
  • Epidemic
  • Sedentary
  • Processed food
  • Fast food
  • Nutritional education
  • Awareness
  • Stress
  • Emotional eating
  • Genetic factors
  • Access
  • Healthy food options
  • Marketing
  • Urbanization
  • Lifestyles
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