The values that we learn from our parents and family have greater influence on our future success than knowledge and skills we learn at school. Agree or disagee?

#values #parents #influence #future #success #skills #school #disagee

The environment in which

children

grow up plays a crucial role in their development.

However

, technological advancements have made a significant impact on our

lives

as well have made us

more free

Correct word choice

freer

show examples

In other words

, the availability of a diverse set of activities that we can engage

provides

Change preposition

in provides

show examples

us with more

freedom

and flexibility compared to previous generations. Indeed, I firmly believe all of these changes nowadays have had a positive influence on

children

’s

lives

. In the following, I will elaborate on

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

why I believe that. One of the most crucial factors that contribute to

children

being more intelligent and more productive is they are

more free

Replace the words

freer

show examples

to choose their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

ways of

learning

Add an article

the learning

show examples

process,

Hence

this

flexible

way

motivates

children

to engage more, accelerating their learning abilities.

However

, if we force

children

with a specific

way

of learning, as in previous generations, it is may not suitable for some

children

, limiting the ability of

children

to learn more effectively. In fact,

this

kind of flexibility has a more profound on

children

’s personalities and capabilities. I believe

children

nowadays learn more rapidly compared with previous generations as there are diverse

set

Fix the agreement mistake

sets

show examples

of teaching ways, and

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are more free to choose their preferred learning approaches.

Furthermore

, the existence of substantial numbers of entertainment

also

plays a vital role.

Children

are more free to select their admired ways of

engagements

Fix the agreement mistake

engagement

show examples

and more flexible

to try

Change preposition

in trying

show examples

a wide range of recreational activities.

This

allows

children

to explore more and discover what activities that suit them best.

This

way

boosts self-confidence and helps them make important decisions about critical life situations.

In contrast

children

who do not have

Correct article usage

the

show examples

freedom

to select at

lease

Correct your spelling

least

show examples

their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

exercises. may struggle to make important decisions in their

lives

and often rely on their parents to select for them.

To conclude

freedom

offers advantages,

such

as enhancing

children

’s learning abilities by allowing them to choose the most effective

way

of learning. It

also

boosts their self-confidence and teaches them how to make vital decisions in their future

lives

Hence

, I firmly believe

freedom

has significantly improved the

lives

of today’s

children

Submitted by fmalquran112 on Wed Oct 18 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

356 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The values that we learn from our parents and family have greater influence on our future success than knowledge and skills we learn at school. Agree or disagee?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, more and more women have full-time jobs as men. There is a logic that they should share the housework equally with men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. What are the effects of rapid population growth in the city? How can the quality of life city dwellers be maintain?

Global warming is one of the various climate issues. Discuss the possible causes ad offer measures to control the damage caused.

In some countries, private cars are now banned from certain city centers. What are the advantages of such a system and do you feel that this is something that most cities should adopt?