Because of secondary sources such as books, movies, and the Internet, people can learn about a foreign culture without visiting a foreign country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, some individuals reckon that
people
do not need to visit a foreign
country
to learn about their
cultures
since we have a variety of
resources
.
However
, some
people
argue that we have to visit different countries in person to experience their own
cultures
. I totally agree with the former opinion as we are able to use various kinds of sources easily and save our budget.
To begin
with, there are plenty of
resources
related to a foreign
country'
Correct your spelling
country cultures
cultures
such
as online materials, books, videos, films and so on. When
people
utilize those things, they are able to expand
knowledge
Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
show examples
of interesting
cultures
.
For example
, there has been
YouTube
Correct article usage
a YouTube
show examples
channel named Happy Traveling where
people
can find useful videos regarding numerous
countries'
Correct your spelling
countries
cultures
. it already has 100
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
subscribers and a lot of positive
feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
show examples
.
This
means that
people
who want to acquire diverse
cultures
have been learning about it online conveniently.
In addition
,
people
might be able to save their budgets,
utilizing
Change preposition
by utilizing
show examples
secondary sources. In fact, if individuals visit another
country
in person, they have to spend a lot of money on their traveling
such
as flight fees,
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
, transport and many more.
However
, when
people
use online
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
, they do not need to waste their budgets.
According to
news, when
people
travel abroad, they are likely to spend at least $3,000.
In contrast
,
people
ususally
Correct your spelling
usually
spend almost $100 to acquire
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
information related to
cultures
Correct article usage
the cultures
show examples
of different countries by using secondary
resources
. In conclusion, it is evident that there have been many opportunities for
people
to learn about a foreign
country
because of a number of
resources
. I strongly agree with
this
opinion since we have been utilizing many materials including the Internet and saving money wisely.
Submitted by lym1049 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction.
coherence cohesion
Add a concluding paragraph to summarize your main points.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary to improve your lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and word choice to improve your grammatical range and accuracy.
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