In many countries people have to go away from their family and friends to find work. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #friends #work #outweigh

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It is quite common these days for people around the world to go away from their family and

friends

Use synonyms

to find a job. It is my belief that the positive effects of

this

Linking Words

innovation could certainly outweigh its disadvantages. There are several drawbacks to working in a strange place which is not their hometown. A common problem is that lonely feelings will often come to the employees after working hours. When the

workers

Use synonyms

are busy in working places, they focus hardly on their jobs.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they don't have

time

Use synonyms

to think of themselves or anything else which is irrelevant to their jobs.

However

Linking Words

, when going home after work, the

workers

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will stay alone in their accommodation without family members or

friends

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. At that

time

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, finding a person to share stories in life was a challenging issue. I believe that special occasions like birthdays, Christmas or New Year will be their most upsetting

time

Use synonyms

because they won't have any warm celebrations with relatives. Another negative aspect can be that the employees will fall into dangerous situations if they

are in

Verb problem

have

show examples

serious symptoms

such

Linking Words

as heart attack or high blood pressure. It is sure that people's sickness can be worse day by day as no one can look after them.

However

Linking Words

, in spite of these negative effects, working away from family can bring about important benefits. One obvious advantage is that

this

Linking Words

is a good opportunity for

workers

Use synonyms

to develop their careers because they don't have to spend

time

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for caring family members or close

friends

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, people can attend courses or self-study in their free

time

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Therefore

Linking Words

, they can certainly expand their knowledge or improve their majors. Another positive effect can be that the

workers

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can

also

Linking Words

understand another culture or geography which belongs to working places. In my opinion, real-life experiences are always more worthy than knowledge in textbooks.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is believed that the staff can widen their circle of

friends

Use synonyms

and relationships in new places. It is my belief that all the advantages which are mentioned above will make the employees' life colourful. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential benefits of working away from family are more worthwhile than the possible dangers.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Thu Oct 19 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Use more cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range accuracy

Check your grammar and sentence structures for accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

369 words

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In many countries people have to go away from their family and friends to find work. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourist and not locals. What is the cause? and give solutions.

More and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress. what do you think are the causes of this? can you suggest some possible solutions?

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative developent?

People can live and work anywhere they want to choose, because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?