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Band 5.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activites. Does this situation have more advantage or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activites #situation #advantage
In the current era, a lot of
people
 think that they have to work as long as they can, and they do have not much
time
 for leisure activities. I believe that the advantages of
this
 new trend outweigh the disadvantages, and in
this
 article, I will discuss
this
 matter. The first advantage of long working periods is that you can earn
money
, and
then
 you can reach financial stability faster.
Therefore
, spending your precious
time
 on work rather than leisure would be beneficial.
Moreover
, you can enjoy your little free
time
 much more.
For example
, when you have to work for 10 hours per day it helps to make
money
 and benefit from bonuses. The second advantage is that working gives structure to life. It means that you will have a schedule and enjoy your
time
 much better.
However
, without a structure,
people
 tend to become depressed since they do not value
time
, and they do not utilize it as much as they can.
For instance
, there are
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
many prosperous individuals who have claimed that the key to success is to have a plan for each day.
However
, leisure activities have their own advantages, including unwinding from stress and recharging batteries. But, we have to take into account that
people
 can take advantage of these pluses
while
 working.
In addition
, through earning more
money
 they can have better spare
time
 activities.
For example
, one can spend thousands of
money
 on a vacation because he has worked a lot. In conclusion, I believe that
this
 current trend is completely acceptable. By working hard
people
 can benefit from having a schedule, earning
money
 and having luxurious trips.
Submitted by sheida95jahanbekam on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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