The pie charts show the first place Germans and Nigerians go to in order to access the news in a typical week.

#show #first #place #germans #nigerians #access #news #week

The pie charts illustrate the main sources of citizens in the

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

of Germany and Nigeria to obtain the news on a weekly basis.

Overall

, the charts indicate different preferences

Change preposition

for

show examples

both parties, but it can be seen that

newspaper

Fix the agreement mistake

newspapers

show examples

and TV

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

the highest proportion in one

as well as

the other.

According to

the first chart,

it is clear that

almost a half

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of the people in Germany are choosing newspapers as their source of news. In second place is

television

Add an article

a television

show examples

with a feature of 30%, followed by two almost equal proportions of 10 and 11

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

which are radio and

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

Whereas

, other sources, with four

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of the least popular trend

overall

. Now looking at Nigeria, a different trend is noticed. In the same

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

as in Germany, there are five different sources to update on the world's newest story. Contrary to the

last

one, television takes the first place for almost

two thirds

Add a hyphen

two-thirds

show examples

of the total.

Furthermore

, it can be seen that the second place goes to the radio with a total of 22%.

Subsequently

, 13% of people in Nigeria are getting news from the newspaper. The least popular features are the internet and acquaintances share the same proportion of one

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

, respectively.

Submitted by keykolubis on Thu Oct 19 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

209 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts show the first place Germans and Nigerians go to in order to access the news in a typical week.

Some people think companies should employ old people to work as they have a lot of working experience. Others, however, think it is better to recruit young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some international companies are very powerful now and many people believe that it is a negative development. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your reasons and relevant examples.

Some people think that a person improves intellectual skills better when doing group activities. To what extend do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?