The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #results #survey #people #age #groups #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The pie diagram illustrates the distribution of various factors that are mainly responsible for making people more happy in numerous age gaps.

Overall

, success at the workplace and performing their favourite jobs are most prominent

while

economic issues, journeys, and many more factors

also

help

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

to become happy.

Firstly

, the proportion of prospects in job sectors is 31% when society

are

Change the verb form

show examples

under 30

however

, the part is 32% when they become over 30. The case of fulfilling hobbies at the same age shows a similar trend

whereas

the percentage increases by 2% from low to high age.

On the other hand

crowd

Add an article

the crowd

a crowd

show examples

who are under 30 prefer to travel more around the world,

in contrast

, whenever they reach the 30, they try to spend more moments with their family and the proportion is 15% and 14% respectively.

In addition

, economic issues are highly significant in making a person happy and the results shown in the chart where that folk over 30 consider more financial security. At the same time, there are other issues which help a person to be happy but these values decreased over time, from 14% to 10%.

Submitted by sadikasharmin888 on Thu Oct 19 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

191 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

survey
age groups
responses
happiness factors
participants
contribute
compare
patterns
differences

What to do next:

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As well as making money, businesses should also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?