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Band 4.5

Many people believe that bicycle is a healthy and environmentally friendly mode of transport. However, it is no longer the main form of transport. What are the reasons? What could be done to encourage the use of bicycles among the wider population?

#people #bicycle #mode #transport #form #bicycles #population
Using a
bicycle
 brings a lot of benefits
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our body and environment, but it is no longer the main
tranport
Correct your spelling
transport
 on the
road
. I believe
this
 is
due to
 the convenience and fast options that we have available
such
 as cars and trains. If there were more lanes for cyclists on the
road
, it may encourage
people
 to
use
this
 as transportation by many. Some of the benefits of using a
bicycle
includes
Change the verb form
include
show examples
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
show examples
 of the cardiovascular muscles of a person because of peddling, and since it does not need fuel, it is environment-friendly.
In addition
, They could
also
 avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
heavy traffic because of the slim frame of the vehicle. Despite these advantages,
people
 still choose to
use
 other modes of transportation like cars and trains because of the fast and convenient way to get to their destinations as they do not need to carry it around. One way to encourage individuals to
use
this
 form of transportation is to ensure that they have their own lanes in most of the
road
 paths, to provide security to
cyclist
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cyclists
show examples
.
Moreover
, proper
bicycle
 stands in public
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 would help riders to have their own space for their vehicle
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not need to tag it
along with
 them. Spreading awareness about the
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
this
 would bring
our
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to our
show examples
 health and environment may catch the attention of many individuals. In conclusion, the time saved and convenience that other
mode
Change the wording
modes
show examples
 of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 stop
people
 from using
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
. In my opinion, providing a space and respect
on
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for
show examples
cyclist
Fix the agreement mistake
cyclists
show examples
 on the
road
 may push
people
 to
use
 bikes again,
as well as
 informing them
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 positive changes
this
 will bring to the body and environment.
Submitted by mjdf0930 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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