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Writing Samples
Band 6

the pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. the table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

the pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. the table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The given pie chart depicts the essential
reasons
Use synonyms
 (in
percentage
Use synonyms
) why agricultural
land
Use synonyms
 becomes less productive in four categories (over-grazing, deforestation, over-cultivation, and other
reasons
Use synonyms
),
while
Linking Words
 the provided table illustrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of how these
reasons
Use synonyms
 affected three regions, namely North America, Europe, and
Oceania
Use synonyms
 during
1990s
Change the article
the 1990s
show examples
. Generally, the most impactful
Use synonyms
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 that made agricultural
land
Use synonyms
became
Verb problem
apply
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less productive was over-grazing, yet, the lowest was other
reasons
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, Europe had the biggest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
land
Use synonyms
 degraded, but
Oceania
Use synonyms
 had the smallest.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 over-grazing had the highest impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 less productivity of agricultural
land
Use synonyms
 at 35%. It was
also
Linking Words
 the main
Use synonyms
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 that caused
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 in
Oceania
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, other
reasons
Use synonyms
 got the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 at 7%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, deforestation was in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place with 30%, followed by over-cultivation with 28%.
In addition
Linking Words
, Europe had the biggest
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 with 23%. It is caused mostly by deforestation (9.8%).
In contrast
Linking Words
, North America had the smallest
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
. The most essential
Use synonyms
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 in North America was over-cultivation (3.3%).
Additionally
Linking Words
, the total
land
Use synonyms
 degraded in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Oceania
Use synonyms
 was 13%.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons, percentage, land, oceania, degradation with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pie chart
  • Table
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Decreasing productivity
  • Reasons
  • Regional variations
  • Data
  • Summarize
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