IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The number of advertisements for charities on television and the internet seems to be increasing. What is causing this ? Is this a positive or negative development ? Give reasons for your answer & include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#advertisements #charities #television #internet #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The donations have been increasing through media and social media. The main element of advertising is a plethora of poor countries in the world.
This
 effect
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
's lives better.
However
, the basic needs can
help
Wrong verb form
be helped
show examples
 by the money for the pupils.
Besides
this
, it can
also
 help to secure the community.
This
 essay will elaborate on both perspectives in the upcoming paragraphs. A number of philanthropists
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
collect the funds and distribute
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
needy
people
. They protect their lives
as well as
 give
essential
Correct pronoun usage
them essential
show examples
 necessities.
Therefore
, they make some
fund raising
Correct your spelling
fundraising
show examples
 programs and
encourages
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourage
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the nation.
Furthermore
, they collaborate with various brands to help them in education for children, so they can build education
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 and grant them.
Moreover
, they attract society for advertisement through social platforms and print media to support poor
one's
Change noun form
ones
show examples
.
Consequently
, they aid from different forums for the purpose
to develop
Change preposition
of developing
show examples
 the poor society. Apart from that, there are
such
 aid programs
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 have been looting
people
 in the name of charity. Those schemes are involved in wealth gathered for
self interest
Add a hyphen
self-interest
show examples
. Despite of, the charity trust
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not accountable for ingoing and outgoing cash so most
people
 avoid
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the funds. Not only the trust issues but
also
 no law forum to control the assets of the trust.
Therefore
, the negative aspect of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charity schemes may not
Add a missing verb
be favorable
show examples
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
To conclude
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
donation
is
Verb problem
play
show examples
 a significant role in the public and motivates
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 to
grant helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
people
. But it has
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
rather than
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 that there is no check and balance for currency so it should make a law to enforce the transparency of the assets.
Then
 everyone can freely support
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the helping nations.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nonprofit organization
  • crowdfunding
  • philanthropy
  • altruism
  • donor fatigue
  • corporate social responsibility
  • social media influence
  • charitable giving
  • sponsorship
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • awareness campaign
  • digital marketing
  • emotional appeal
  • fundraising
What to do next:
Look at other essays: