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Band 4

Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree with this?

#doctors #patients #health
Teaching
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
 how to improve their
health
 should be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 duty of doctors. I believe that improving
health
 is a
share
Change the verb form
shared
show examples
 duty between individuals and governments, in
this
 way medical advice is crucial. Some of my reasons will be explored in the
reminder
Correct your spelling
remainder
show examples
 of
this
 essay. The improvement of our
wellness
Add a verb
wellness is
wellness was
show examples
 dependent directly
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the personal
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
Firstly
,
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 is essential for people to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control of their lifestyle and to make choices in
this
 manner.
In addition
 to
this
, the
guiance
Correct your spelling
guidance
 of
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 physician can assist us in
taiking
Correct your spelling
taking
this
 control.
For example
, under the
recomendation
Correct your spelling
recommendation
 of my doctor, I had decided to increase the period of time I spend walking each day to 1 hour in order to improve my physical shape and reduce my stress. Clearly, individuals can regain control
oover
Correct your spelling
over
 their habits with the assistance of professional supervision. Making informed decisions based on
accurrate
Correct your spelling
accurate
 information is another key point to
achieved
Wrong verb form
achieving
show examples
 better
health
.
To begin
 with, a great number of products currently
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
 in the market,
such
 as sugar drinks
are link
Change the verb form
are linked
show examples
 to
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
illenesses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
 and for decades people were not informed about the hide effects of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 products.
For instance
, the Mexican Agency of
health care
Correct your spelling
Health Care
show examples
 warned about the risk of
ultra
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
proccessed
Correct your spelling
processed
 food
as a consequence
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 products have
a labels
Correct the article-noun agreement
labels
a label
show examples
 and nowadays customers know the
potencial
Correct your spelling
potential
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 of drinking
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. So, medical communities can help people to make smart decisions. In conclusion, medical
recomendation
 can help individuals in bettering their help
throug
Correct your spelling
through
 face-to-face
recomendation
as well as
throug
Correct your spelling
through
recomendation
 to
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
.
Submitted by alequech on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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