IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree with this?

#doctors #patients #health
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Teaching
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
 how to improve their
health
Use synonyms
 should be
a
Correct article usage
the
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 duty of doctors. I believe that improving
health
Use synonyms
 is a
share
Change the verb form
shared
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 duty between individuals and governments, in
this
Linking Words
 way medical advice is crucial. Some of my reasons will be explored in the
reminder
Correct your spelling
remainder
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 of
this
Linking Words
 essay. The improvement of our
wellness
Add a verb
wellness is
wellness was
show examples
 dependent directly
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the personal
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
Firstly
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,
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 is essential for people to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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control of their lifestyle and to make choices in
this
Linking Words
 manner.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, the
guiance
Correct your spelling
guidance
 of
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 physician can assist us in
taiking
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taking
this
Linking Words
 control.
For example
Linking Words
, under the
Use synonyms
recomendation
Correct your spelling
recommendation
 of my doctor, I had decided to increase the period of time I spend walking each day to 1 hour in order to improve my physical shape and reduce my stress. Clearly, individuals can regain control
oover
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over
 their habits with the assistance of professional supervision. Making informed decisions based on
accurrate
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accurate
 information is another key point to
achieved
Wrong verb form
achieving
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 better
health
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a great number of products currently
avaliable
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available
 in the market,
such
Linking Words
 as sugar drinks
are link
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are linked
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 to
variety
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a variety
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 of
illenesses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
 and for decades people were not informed about the hide effects of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 products.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Mexican Agency of
Use synonyms
health care
Correct your spelling
Health Care
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 warned about the risk of
ultra
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
proccessed
Correct your spelling
processed
 food
as a consequence
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 products have
a labels
Correct the article-noun agreement
labels
a label
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 and nowadays customers know the
potencial
Correct your spelling
potential
risk
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risks
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 of drinking
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. So, medical communities can help people to make smart decisions. In conclusion, medical
recomendation
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 can help individuals in bettering their help
throug
Correct your spelling
through
 face-to-face
recomendation
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as well as
Linking Words
throug
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through
recomendation
Use synonyms
 to
goverments
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governments
government
.
Submitted by alequech on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic approach
  • preventive measures
  • chronic diseases
  • medical interventions
  • healthcare professionals
  • consultations
  • dietitians
  • health educators
  • literacy skills
  • visual aids
  • digital tools
  • reputable online resources
  • community programs
  • ongoing support
  • patient outcomes
  • initial guidance
  • mitigated
  • follow-up consultations
What to do next:
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