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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, university education is considered very important for people's future. However, there are a lot of successful people who didn't get higher education. Do you think that higher education is necessary to succeed in life? Justify your opinion with relevant examples.

#university #education #people #future #life
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In today's society, having at least a
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
 degree is considered to be the bare minimum requirement before entering the job market. Employees who only graduate from secondary school can only apply for low-income paying jobs.
However
Linking Words
, there are exceptions of successful
people
Use synonyms
 who pursue a career through
entrpreneurship
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurship
 and utilize their talents to make a living and gain their social status.
While
Linking Words
 some say
education
Use synonyms
 plays a major part in their
success
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, some argue that their effort, use of soft
skills
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 and gifted abilities are
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
success
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. I believe in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world, higher
education
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 is not necessary to succeed in life, as it is more important to acquire knowledge and
skills
Use synonyms
 from social experience, not from textbooks.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
's insight about the future and their global perspective allows them to seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
opportunities. For startups, it is essential for businessman to grasp opportunities and keep an eye on the global trend, in order to understand the market demand and how their company provide value to the market. Li Ka Shing, a Hong Kong billionaire businessman and investor, missed out on a formal
univeristy educatin
Correct your spelling
university education
 himself at
his
Change the word
a
show examples
 young age. Despite his disadvantage of lower
education
Use synonyms
 level, as compared to his peers, his vision in investment and business helps him achieve
success
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, as the richest man in Asia Hong Kong.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
Use synonyms
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not guarantee the possession of life
skills
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 . There are news reports showing that some university graduates do not possess basic
self management
Add a hyphen
self-management
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skills
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as cooking,
doing
Correct word choice
and doing
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laundries
Fix the agreement mistake
laundry
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. Some even do not how to tie their show laces. Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 overly rely on their parents to manage everything for them,
as a result
Linking Words
 of
"helicopter
Correct article usage
the "helicopter
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 parents"
phenonmenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
. Indeed, owning a
teritary
Correct your spelling
tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 certificate will certainly assist
people
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 to receive better job offers than those who don't.
However
Linking Words
, it is on us whether we have the social experience or life
skills
Use synonyms
 to evolve as an adult and enter
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society as a mature person. It is on us whether we have the global perspective to seek every
chances
Change to a singular noun
chance
show examples
 to grow and learn, gradually becoming the best version of ourselves and
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
show examples
success
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foundation
  • critical thinking
  • innovators
  • vocational training
  • persistence
  • soft skills
  • adaptability
  • non-traditional pathways
  • lifelong learning
  • disparities
What to do next:
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