IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#computers #basis #world #classrooms #programs #purposes #dependence #risk #students
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Computers have become the core of
this
Linking Words
 industrialization era. Many people believe that the rudiments of intermedia classrooms should be accomplished for the jovial culture of inculcation,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that relying on electronic gadgets would have a negative impact on children’s health
as well as
Linking Words
 other factors
such
Linking Words
 as their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both standpoints in detail.
Firstly
Linking Words
, gadgets are everywhere, which
shaped
Wrong verb form
shapes
show examples
 people's day-to-day lives in a better way.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, mentoring using technology will increase students' horizons, which will lead them to grasp knowledge pertaining to the innovative world.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Canada and many other countries, autonomous learning has taken place.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, learners are easily able to resolve their queries by synthesizing the research.
As a result
Linking Words
, Canadians are apprehensive about software-oriented knowledge or education.
By contrast
Linking Words
, relying only on artificial intelligence from a very early phase of life can be perilous and can create inimical circumstances.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of onscreen notes leads to students’ proficiency in typing skills but
also
Linking Words
 makes them powerless in writing skills.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can be health precarious too as it will increase obesity risk,
led
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to backbone deformation by sitting continuously for long hours in front of the laptop and the ultraviolet radiation coming from the screen can affect their eyesight. In a nutshell, regulation of technology should be done after thinking about both the benefits
as well as
Linking Words
 drawbacks of routine-scheduled life. Though it can teach topics in interesting ways, it can
also
Linking Words
 have a bad impact on health.
Submitted by adpremadasa82 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: