The diagram below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below show the stages and equipment used 

in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two diagrams illustrate the
cement
Use synonyms
production process and its usage to produce concrete for the building process.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
cement
Use synonyms
-making process involves four stages, including crushing, mixing, heating, and grinding. Following that,
cement
Use synonyms
will be required to produce concrete.
Firstly
Linking Words
, limestone and clay were inserted into a crusher to combine and form them into powder. After that, the powder will be mixed in a clinker prior to being heated in a rotating heater. Shortly after, the rotating heater will clink the materials before being ground and forming
cement
Use synonyms
. The end product,
cement
Use synonyms
, will be packed into bags for distribution or used
further
Linking Words
to produce concrete. In order to
functioned
Change the verb
function
show examples
fully in
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
, concrete will be made from a combination of 15%
cement
Use synonyms
, 10% water, 25% sand, and 50% gravel. The materials will be mixed in a spinning concrete mixer.
Finally
Linking Words
, the mixture will result in
a concrete
Remove the article
concrete
a block of concrete
a hunk of concrete
show examples
, which
Linking Words
further
Add a missing verb
is further
show examples
used for building purposes.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • stages
  • equipment
  • cement-making process
  • raw materials
  • crushed
  • heated
  • kiln
  • clinker
  • ground
  • fine powder
  • sand
  • gravel
  • water
  • concrete
  • building purposes
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