IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The given chart depicts the proportion of foreign students among universities in Canada

The given chart depicts the proportion of foreign students among universities in Canada
#proportion #students #universities #canada
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given chart depicts the proportion of foreign
students
Use synonyms
 among universities in Canada. All universities experienced
Use synonyms
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
,
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the significant results
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 recorded in British Columbia. During
this
Linking Words
 five-year period the number of international
students
Use synonyms
 in New Brunswick and Nova Scotia
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 by approximately the same amount, which is over 10%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Manitoba
as well as
Linking Words
 New Foundland and Labrador have raised merely over 5% Getting back to the details, between 2001 and 2006 there has been a slow
increase
Use synonyms
 from 6% to 8% in Quebec's number of
students
Use synonyms
.
Likewise
Linking Words
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of foreign
students
Use synonyms
 rose significantly in Alberta
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 about 4%.
Although
Linking Words
, in 2006 international graduates were slightly more in New Brunswick,
Linking Words
overall
Add an article
the overall
an overall
show examples
increase
Use synonyms
 in 5 years was higher in British Columbia where the percentage practically doubled from about 5% to over 10%.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, increase with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: