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Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #cinema #attendance #australia #projections #summarise #features #comparisons
The line chart above illustrates the
percentage
 of
people
 in each age
group
 attending the
cinema
 at least one time a
year
. It could be clearly seen that all the age groups except 25-34 years old
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a slight increase in
cinema
 attendance between 1990 and 2010. Teenagers and young adults account for the largest
percentage
 of
people
 spending time
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
while
 the
group
 50+ years old has the lowest . In 1990, 90% of the
adolescence
Replace the word
adolescents
show examples
 and young adults
group
 were
cinema
’s audience,
while
 in the same
year
, only 40% of the old
people
 came to the
cinema
. The younger
group
 first had an increasing trend and
then
 kept the
percentage
 stable for a
10
Add a hyphen
10-year
show examples
year
 period before a slight increase to nearly 100% in 2010.
In contrast
, over the
20
Add a hyphen
20-year
show examples
year
 period, the
percentage
 in the older
group
 slightly increased from 40% to 60%. About the two middle
group
 ages, they all start from 60% in 2008. Both groups had an increasing trend until in 2006, the
percentage
 of working
people
 started to decline. In 2010, the middle age
group
 ended up at above 80%
while
 the other
group
 finished at about 70%.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, group, cinema, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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