Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prisoner sentence. others think that there are better alternative ways to reduce crime. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
believe that the best method to lower
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
rate is to make prisoner
sentence
Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
show examples
longer.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
show examples
believe that there are other methods that can be effective to lower the
crime
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rate. In my opinion, I believe that long prison
sentences
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are not
ideal
Add an article
an ideal
the ideal
show examples
solution
,
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apply
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Since the prisoner will get mental problems. On the one hand, long prison
sentences
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will prevent prisoners
to get
Change preposition
from getting
show examples
in contact with other criminals which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
rate. The key to
make
Verb problem
apply
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a
crime
Use synonyms
is motivation, and motivation comes from partners.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
judge
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judges
show examples
can cut
this
Linking Words
kind of relationship by applying long prison
sentences
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, which eventually benefit the country and prevent crimes
to happen
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from happening
show examples
. In my viewpoint, I believe
this
Linking Words
method can cause mental health issues
such
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as
anxeity
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anxiety
which is not ideal, it may cause
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of crimes in the future when the prisoners get free after
the
Change the word
their
show examples
long sentence.
On the other hand
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, solutions
such
Linking Words
as
community
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work can be more effective.
Community
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work will impact the guilty people by giving them reasons to improve their society. When they
found
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find
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out their crimes
hurts
Correct subject-verb agreement
hurt
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their
community
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, they will immediately stop. USA and some countries now started to know the outcomes of
community
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works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
for the prisoners, and these countries plan voluntary work
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
for the guilty people. Personally, I support
this
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method because
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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not only
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
the
community
Use synonyms
. In the end, relationships between criminals will be cut with long prisoner
sentences
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.
However
Linking Words
, voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
can be more effective
to reduce
Change preposition
in reducing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
community
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
can improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by ibrakh80 on

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task response
Sufficient examples and arguments provided.
coherence and cohesion
Clear progression of ideas, but work on the introduction and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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