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Band 4

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional and personal lives advantage outweigh the disadvantage

#people #risks #lives #advantage
it is argued that it is essential for an individual to take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 in their professional
as well as
 in their personal lives. there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 disadvantages even though there are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
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 of advantages. the favour of
this
 notional can make an individual
to outbreak
Verb problem
escape
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 from his/ her comfort zone and give an
oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to reach great heights . taking
up
Change preposition
apply
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risks in
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
life
 both professionally and
personaly
Correct your spelling
personally
can make
the
Correct article usage
one
show examples
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 in their
life
. One who takes
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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 personally has always achieved great in their professional
life
. The mounting evidence might be the achievement of the former Indian cricket team captain, if he had not taken a chance resigning from the job of a ticket collector and jeopardise his
life
 and
followed
Wrong verb form
following
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 his dream he would not have become a
world class
Add a hyphen
world-class
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 recognised individual or would not have been a treasure of India's pride. Despite the innumerable benefits the downside must not be overlooked. The struggle of putting oneself in line to achieve his/her goal can put the individual who
are
Change the verb form
is
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 keen
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 him/her at peril too. When it is a personal
risk
 the family may not have enough time
together with
 the person which may lead to many conflicts and may not have time to take part in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happy events with them.
And if
Correct word choice
If
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 seen personally they may put themself at a stake situation in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public which may even put them in a negative frame. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 there are numerous accord
at taking
Change preposition
to take
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risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 both personally and
professional
Change the word
professionally
show examples
 may help achieve their goals and
also
 have a successful career and family but the delve of being ignored in big events and spending quality time with dear ones should not be outlooked
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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