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Band 4

It is common these days to see celebrities advertising different products. do the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

#celebrities #products #development #outweight
These days, many
celebrities
 on social media commercialize many kinds of
products
 that they receive from diverse brands. The writer believed that
this
 development outweighed the disadvantages and she will explain the reasons in
this
 essay. With
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
celebrities
commercialize
Wrong verb form
commercialising
show examples
products
, it can benefit both sides, the
celebrities
 and the
brand
.
Whereas
, the public figures would gain an income
while
 the
brand
 received recognition from the public figures' audience or fans.
As a result
 of the popularity, the company
also
 will receive more customers. Despite the positive advantages, many people believe that having
celebrities
 advertising different
products
 on their socials can spark the competitiveness of brands in terms of gaining popularity for their
products
. An example from the writer's friend's experience, she received a request from a food
brand
 to review their foods and post the results online. Being a popular public figure in the culinary field, she accepted the request and posted the commercialised
products
 to her social media followed by her review. By the end of the week, the restaurant had doubled in customers and income. In conclusion, seeing artists reviewing and advertising different kinds of
products
 may bring about competitiveness for the
brand
 companies. It can
also
 bring
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 to both sides, where both the
brand
 and
celebrities
 can earn more recognition and income from the audiences.
Therefore
, the advantages trumps the disadvantages.
Submitted by seyyuhhh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • celebrities
  • advertising
  • products
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • development
  • increased visibility
  • brand awareness
  • credibility
  • trust
  • higher sales
  • wider target audience
  • endorsement
  • costs
  • overexposure
  • authenticity
  • backlash
  • negative impact
  • brand image
  • ineffectiveness
  • match
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