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Band 4

Some people think that schools are no longer necessary because people can acquire information on the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #information #internet
Some citizens' consideration is that
school's
Change noun form
school
show examples
 education is not valuable, the reason why, Without
this
 place, pupils have many choices to get crucial details, related to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 own field from the internet. I
absoltuley
Correct your spelling
absolutely
 disagree
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 given view. In my opinion, School plays an important role for learners. The causes are granted
belows
Correct your spelling
below
.
To begin
 with, Some
people
 want to acquire
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 or data from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
web sites
Correct your spelling
websites
show examples
. But, The information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some sites may be filled with fakes. I'm going to explain these, it is necessary to know the specific events.
For instance
,
For being
Verb problem
for
show examples
 a surger, It is useless to utilize
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the Google site. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Different
people
 have different views, All Masters may not enter their essential data
according to
 their job. Or else they may be others.
That is
, trusting these is too tough
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 these sites. If patients believe these, it will bring
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 the biggest conditions. Patients may die or pass away as a
conse quence
Correct your spelling
consequence
show examples
 of wrong details from
these web
Change the determiner
this web
these webs
show examples
. So, I will not support
these idea
Change the determiner
this idea
these ideas
show examples
. Writing about
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 idea, Without teachers,
People
 can not accept useful
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
.
Basicly
Correct your spelling
Basically
, Pupils are able to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success easily with
Add an article
the educator
an educator
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educator
Fix the agreement mistake
educators
show examples
.
In addition
, They can illustrate the right direction. And they are aware of
from
Correct pronoun usage
it from
show examples
 their field well. So that, Educated
people
 in school,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are able to get high
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
 quickly. As an example, My teacher
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a Kosimov. He is a professional teacher.
With
Change preposition
By
show examples
 going
his
Change preposition
in his
show examples
 direction, I can achieve my goals. So,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will claim the second idea
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 best
dor
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 me.
To sum up
,
People
 will choose to without schools, they can
know
Verb problem
get
show examples
 information from the Net. As it was
wrtitten
Correct your spelling
written
 in the above paragraphs, I am not
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
this
 opinion. For becoming the greatest career to us. Teacher is the best motivator and they will good direction.
Submitted by sarvinozjumayeva813 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure in your essay by organizing your ideas in a more coherent manner. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion provide a clear overview of your position. Additionally, support your main points with relevant examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
task response
To improve task achievement, make sure you fully address the prompt by providing a clear stance on the issue and supporting it with comprehensive ideas and relevant examples. Aim to present a complete and well-developed response that fully engages with the topic and provides a clear argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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