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Band 4.5

Cities are becoming more and more congested and polluted as the number of private cars increases. What are the advantages and disadvantages of owning a car?

#cities #cars #increases #car
Nowadays , countries are becoming more crowded than before and
as a result
 of
this
Add a comma
this,
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 the number of cars used in
this
 world has increased
therefore
also
 the contamination increases . There are many drawbacks and benefits point from
this
.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
this
 essay will discuss the results of
this
 and
also
 the advantages and disadvantages of owning a
car
 . Carbon dioxide increases with the use of cars or any type of transportation . That means that cars produce By-products when burning fuels to start working. As
result
Add an article
a result
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 of
this
 , the earth has started suffering from toxic chemicals .
For instance
 ,
Change preposition
in
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every five people one dies from carbon dioxide
therefore
 , scientific researchers try to find solutions to solve
this
 problem as soon as possible .
Moreover
 , China's researchers have been starting research that focuses on producing green Hydrogen which is green fuel which means that it does not produce any type of contamination .
Therefore
 ,
this
 research had success in saving community
life
 .
This
 is only one drawback of owning a
car
 .
In contrast
 , there are many pros to getting a
car
 , one of the most
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
, is that a
car
 makes our
life
 easier . Looking in more detail in our lives if we do not have a
car
 we will not be able to travel , go to school or work , and our activities will be
with
Change preposition
apply
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limiting if we do not have a
car
 .
For example
 , in poverty countries , there is a man called Ahmad and he has 3 children all of them in school,
while
 he works the school time for his children ends, so the children need a bus to back home but because they live in poverty country so they do not have
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
 to do it only sit and wait , in another
life
 if you do not have work your
life
 will be stop for a moment . In conclusion, as there are many advantages
as
Change preposition
to
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 a
car
makes
Wrong verb form
making
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 our
life
 easier there are
also
 tremendous disadvantages to getting a new
car
 as the world becomes more Polluted .
Submitted by fatemah221027 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • schedule flexibility
  • privacy
  • commute
  • environmental pollution
  • traffic congestion
  • maintenance costs
  • fuel costs
  • stress
  • crowded areas
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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