Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to a university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The group of people has a belief that everyone without any exceptions has a possibility to have enrolment to a university
education
.
In addition
, governments should realise the idea that
education
should be free for all
students
despite their financial status. I totally support the following phenomenon.
Firstly
, nowadays the admission
system
is presented
a
Change preposition
as a
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clear and equal
system
. It can be seen that there are no any kind of restrictions for prospective
students
.
For example
, everyone can take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part in enrolment despite of the following points: age, origin, gender and religion.
However
, numerous
of
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apply
show examples
universities are interested and
highlighted
Wrong verb form
highlight
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personal
Correct article usage
the personal
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characteristics, educational and social experiences and knowledge of prospective candidates. These points provide information about future
students
and show their
strength
Replace the word
strong
show examples
sides and desire to attend higher
education
. Numerous
of
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apply
show examples
universities analyse
this
data and make a decision to accept or decline an applicant.
Secondly
, a higher
education
system
should be realised by
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
finances. The idea is able to transform the
system
and become more equal.
For example
, a significant number of candidates who have some positive characteristics based on their knowledge, wide experience and excellent exam results don’t have a possibility to study at universities. It
caused
Add a missing verb
is caused
show examples
by their low financial conditions. The financial support from governments can solve
this
problem. It’ll lead to an increase in qualified employees in every country. In conclusion, nowadays the
system
of higher
education
has great benefits for prospective
students
in admission way, it gives everyone the opportunity to make an application for enrolment.
However
, if governments are able to develop
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
financial support for candidates, it will lead to numerous positive factors for
Correct article usage
the applicant
show examples
applicant
Fix the agreement mistake
applicants
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,
country
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countries
show examples
and society.
Submitted by fedorusa2016 on

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coherence cohesion
In the introduction, clearly state your position on the issue and outline the main points you will cover in the body paragraphs. In the conclusion, summarize your main points and restate your position.
task achievement
The essay shows understanding of the task and presents relevant ideas. However, it would benefit from providing specific and well-developed examples to support the points made.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • Accessibility
  • Social mobility
  • Meritocracy
  • Economic growth
  • Equality
  • Subsidize
  • Fiscal sustainability
  • Human capital
  • Incentivize
  • Underfunded
  • Tuition fees
  • Academic achievement
  • Workforce
  • Tax burden
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