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Band 7

Advertisements are influencing us in a negative way, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advertisements
The massive development of technology may lead to the range of
products
 advertised digitally and it could have a negative influence on
people
 who watch it. I strongly agree with the statement
due to
 the psychological and economic problems that may occur. Watching various advertisements of
products
 might cause an impulsive buying, because of the sense of fear of missing out (FOMO), by all accounts. Through the ads,
people
 will be offered numerous advantages of certain
products
 which encourage
people
 to purchase the product immediately.
Moreover
, if the
products
 are promoted by influencers, it seems as if individuals should possess
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 too.
However
, it is only
one
 of the company's strategies to promote its goods.
Therefore
,
one
 might no longer think twice about buying it since they have been influenced psychologically. In accordance with the aforementioned problem, an advertising-related issue could eventually have a negative impact on an economic aspect. To illustrate, those who buy different
products
 because of ad attraction might waste their money on useless stuff that they do not need at all. As an example,
people
 who check out a flash-sale product might not consider the use of them, but it is
due to
 the lower price they get. Indeed, on
one
 side,
this
 can increase the revenue of
one
 store,
however
, the impact on individuals itself could not be ignored.
Therefore
,
this
 kind of situation results in various issues caused by advertisements.
To conclude
,
although
 advertising will help firms to give information about their items to their target market, it is undeniable that a society that witnesses it may face some problems.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph addresses the specific aspects of the prompt to provide a thorough response. Utilize the supporting examples to strengthen the argument and consider objections to the argument and respond to them in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Although the essay is generally well-organized, ensure that the ideas within and between paragraphs are logically connected. Consider using more transitional devices to enhance coherence, such as linking words, pronouns, and parallel structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Intrusive
  • Omnipresent
  • Culture of consumerism
  • Materialism
  • Unrealistic standards
  • Self-esteem
  • Targeting strategies
  • Privacy invasion
  • Psychological manipulation
  • Overexposure
  • Decision fatigue
  • Conscious
  • Informed choices
  • Biased
  • Mislead
  • Critical sectors
  • Repetition
  • Environmental degradation
  • Throwaway culture
  • Non-durable goods
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