IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives, Too what extend do you agree or disagree wit this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives #wit
In
this
 current time, technology based on
science
 should have a purpose to improve
people
’s lives. I agree with
this
 statement because the function of
science
 is to make
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
life
 become better. In
this
 essay, I will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, there were some scientists who made an invention
such
 as
telephone
Change the article
the telephone
show examples
, lamp, and other things that help
people
 in their daily activities. Without their invention,
people
 may never experience the ease of things they have right now.
For instance
, Alexander Graham Bell who invented the telephone made a change from the traditional method of communication until
people
 could use
telephone
Change the article
the telephone
show examples
 to communicate.
Moreover
, in
this
 era,
people
 even use
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
 as a form of technological development and it
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 one of the most important items for
people
 which has several benefits to their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the development of
science
 can make our lives more convenient
such
 as in
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 sector. It has
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 helping
people
 to get a better
life
 related to their health and quality of
life
. As we know, there are several methods to maintain
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
life
 and multivitamins that
people
 can consume to take care of their body. These multivitamins contain some ingredients which have a good impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our health based on
science
.
To sum up
, the ease of
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
life
 depends on
science
 which hopefully will have many developments in the future.
Although
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 is still possible that
science
 can cause
harms
Fix the agreement mistake
harm
show examples
 to
people
’s lives, it can be directed by the government to focus more on contributing to
reach
Change the verb form
reaching
show examples
 a better
life
 for humans.
Submitted by hafizahnazir on

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