IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives, Too what extend do you agree or disagree wit this statement?

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In
this
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 current time, technology based on
science
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 should have a purpose to improve
people
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’s lives. I agree with
this
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 statement because the function of
science
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 is to make
quality
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the quality
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 of
human’s
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human
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life
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 become better. In
this
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 essay, I will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, there were some scientists who made an invention
such
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 as
telephone
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the telephone
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, lamp, and other things that help
people
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 in their daily activities. Without their invention,
people
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 may never experience the ease of things they have right now.
For instance
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, Alexander Graham Bell who invented the telephone made a change from the traditional method of communication until
people
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 could use
telephone
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the telephone
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 to communicate.
Moreover
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, in
this
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 era,
people
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 even use
smartphone
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smartphones
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 as a form of technological development and it
became
Wrong verb form
become
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 one of the most important items for
people
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 which has several benefits to their
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Furthermore
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, the development of
science
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 can make our lives more convenient
such
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 as in
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 sector. It has
significant
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a significant
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 role
for
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in
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 helping
people
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 to get a better
life
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 related to their health and quality of
life
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. As we know, there are several methods to maintain
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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life
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 and multivitamins that
people
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 can consume to take care of their body. These multivitamins contain some ingredients which have a good impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 our health based on
science
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.
To sum up
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, the ease of
human’s
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human
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life
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 depends on
science
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 which hopefully will have many developments in the future.
Although
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there
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 is still possible that
science
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 can cause
harms
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harm
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 to
people
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’s lives, it can be directed by the government to focus more on contributing to
reach
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reaching
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 a better
life
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 for humans.

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