IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

To improve the job prospects, the secondary schools should spend more time teaching communication skills and business and spend less time on history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #prospects #schools #time #communication #skills #business #history
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar
char
Correct your spelling
chart
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 information about the
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
 four major countries namely India, China,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Japan
Change noun form
Japan's
show examples
 population
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1950 to 2000,
future
Correct word choice
and future
show examples
predication
Correct your spelling
predictions
show examples
 about 2050. To give an overview, it
was notice
Change the verb form
was noticed
show examples
 that India depicted up ward trend
throughtout
Correct your spelling
throughout
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three nations showed down trend
population
Change preposition
in population
show examples
. To commence with, India, it was observed that, it
beginning
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 15% and slightly escalated another 4% in 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 it will
be reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
 nearly 21%.
However
Linking Words
, In China, it remarkably
notice
Wrong verb form
noticed
show examples
 that
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 was highest as compared to other nations.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it analysed
down trend
Correct your spelling
downtrend
show examples
 throughout
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
 period. Moving forward in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, it
was embark
Change the verb form
embarked
show examples
 with 10% in 1950 and declined till
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 50 years and after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it showed levelled off in 2050.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Japan data observed lowest in beginning around 5% and after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it was
continueoulsy
Correct your spelling
continuously
 declined till
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 of the period and reached approximately 3%
Submitted by er.lerulal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: