IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In some countries, increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a results of eating too much fast foods. Therefore, government should force higher taxes in this kind of foods. Do you agree/disagree

#countries #people #health #results #foods #government #force #taxes
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart provides information about
growth
Add an article
the growth
show examples
 of towns and cities in certain
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
prediction
Fix the agreement mistake
predictions
show examples
 about future
Use synonyms
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
. To give an overview, it was remarkably
notice
Replace the word
noticeable
show examples
tha
Correct your spelling
that
, The Latin American
population
Use synonyms
 was the highest as compared to other cities
whereas
Linking Words
 Asia depicted the lowest
population
Use synonyms
 throughout the whole period. To commence with,
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 world, it observed that in 1950
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 began
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30 and after that, it escalated around 29 and reached 49 in 2000.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it again will
be boost
Change the verb form
boost
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of the
population
Use synonyms
nearly
Change preposition
to nearly
show examples
 11.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Africa analysed the lowest 10 and it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dramatically rose in 2000 and in future, it will
be reach
Change the verb form
reach
show examples
 above 50.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Asian
Correct article usage
the Asian
show examples
population
Use synonyms
just
Add a missing verb
was just
show examples
 above 10 and it suddenly
peak
Wrong verb form
peaked
show examples
 and reached around 39 in 2000. The future prediction of
this
Linking Words
 will be nearly 58. Latin America embarked with 41 and it dramatically increased and reached 70 in 2000 after that, it will
be touch
Change the verb form
touch
show examples
 around 80 in 2030.
Submitted by er.lerulal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: