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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crimes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #technology #development #decreases #crime #crimes
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Nowadays, how to deal with
crime
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 continues to be a controversial issue in today's life. The majority of
people
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 believe that reducing
crime
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 depends on improving and developing
technology
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 meanwhile, some
people
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 argue that it encourages
crime
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.There are some valid points, on both sides which will be listed below. On the one hand, most individuals think that the development of
technology
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 plays an important role in reducing
crime
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 in society
hence
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 government sectors should utilize sort of
technology
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 to face minimum trespass.
For instance
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, advanced
technology
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 like AI can help police find offenders as soon as possible
in addition
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 infractions of driving declined significantly thanks to
technology
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.
Furthermore
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, the government should help
people
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 by advertising to use safe equipment for their houses, and cars and pursuing to purchase and use it.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 think that the development of
technology
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 can increase infractions and make stealing too easy.
For example
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, Tone's and Tone's group rob a bank with advanced
technology
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 or hack your personal data to transfer money to their own credit cards.
Thus
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,
technology
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 can impact our daily lives and we must know about
this
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crime
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 and learn how to deal with it.
For example
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, when you shop online you just buy things on famous websites
such
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 as Amazon and eBay and avoid purchasing anything on unknown websites or do not trust strangers.
To sum up
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,in my view development of
technology
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 helps us to live in a safe place if government sectors and
people
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 cooperate with each other to find offenders and reduce and encourage
crime
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.
Submitted by shokri.hananeh on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and uses clear topic sentences to guide the reader through the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a clear and consistent structure throughout the essay, with a proper introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points, linking back to the prompt and the central theme of crime and technology.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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