IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people believe the main purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #purpose #education #individuals #society #ambitions
Recentlyç
Correct your spelling
Recently
 there
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 two opinions in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 think
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that
education
 is essential for
make
Change the form of the verb
making
show examples
 ready
students
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. In the others’ opinion teaching is for personal intentions. In my opinion, schooling is to reach personal aims. On the one hand, nowadays some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
think that instruction is to make individuals available
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 is that life
lessons
 are taught in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools.
For instance
, “how to act in public” is one of the most crucial
lessons
 in public or private schools. With
this
 kind of
Fix the agreement mistake
lesson
show examples
lessons
Add a comma
lessons,
show examples
 many
students
 learn manners in public.
On the other hand
, many
people
 have completely different opinions about
this
 topic. They think that the
lessons
 which are
learning
Wrong verb form
learned
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools and universities can lead
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 to attain their goals. There are so many
people
 around the world who get
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 for their future. Because
education
 is the key
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 future
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 for human beings.
In addition
,
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
education
 can aid
students
to go
Verb problem
in
show examples
 foreign countries and learn
different
Change preposition
about different
show examples
, cultures.
This
 situation can make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals to find jobs easily. In conclusion, for some
people
’s perspectives getting
education
 is
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to teach
people
 how to act in general public,
while
 others think
education
 is motivation for the
students
.
According to
 point of my view,
intention
Add an article
the intention
show examples
 of
education
 is more likely a key to
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 targets for
students
.
Submitted by ayshan.ahmadova1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • preparation
  • beneficial
  • society
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • civic responsibility
  • active participation
  • social initiatives
  • societal issues
  • solutions
  • specialized professions
  • personal growth
  • self-fulfillment
  • passions
  • interests
  • potential
  • talents
  • job prospects
  • financial stability
  • balance
  • meaningful
  • foundation
  • emphasis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: