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Writing Samples /
Band 6

in nowaday, global warming has increased rapidly. What cause of this problem? and give the effective solution

#nowaday
With the developed industrialization, many societies are coping with climate change. The primary cause of
this
 problem stems from overusing outdated
vehicles
 which could possibly be solved by the government giving more chances to improve renewable sources of transportation When it comes to the use the transport which is out of fashion it leads to ecological imbalance. To explain it
further
, not only the rise in inflation but
also
 the drop in the cost of living caused most people, especially the poor, they can not to afford all the cost of living
along with
 the vehicle to movement so they just spend less money on transportation which is old and they did not care about the exhaust or the emission of harmful gases.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
show examples
 Vietnam
for example
,
according to
 the research from a Doctor of Science, and Associate Professor in Vietnam, they found about 85% use motorbikes which is the core factor of emission of CO and VOC which had a bad effect on the environment in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh city, they found only 2% public transport has been used.
As a result
, with the low rate of using modern
vehicles
, many nations will get into trouble with natural fuels and easily increased temperatures all over the world. To fully address
this
 issue, the authorities should exchange all old
vehicles
 for better ones from all their areas. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, each
citizens
Change to a singular noun
citizen
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to handle their old motorbike for their authorities to get the new
ones
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
 which is modern and
emit
Correct subject-verb agreement
emits
show examples
 less disadvantaged gases. Vinfast is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 specific instance
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 solution, the customers who
owned
Wrong verb form
own
show examples
 whatever brand of
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
are
Change the verb form
also change
show examples
also
 change to new ones with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easily
Change the word
easy
show examples
 way.
As a consequence
, not only
ensuring
Wrong verb form
ensure
show examples
 the balance of the environment but
also
 can expand their infamous label to all people. In conclusion, despite climate change rapidly which is caused by using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
out-of-date transport, the government can give more policies to improve poor
vehicles
.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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