Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
From the ancient ages, people had an extreme inclination for sugary commodities, leading to various illnesses. A dramatic increase in the price of these goods has been suggested In order to discourage consumers
of
using them. Change preposition
from
This
method could mitigate the hazardous effects to some extent,Linking Words
Linking Words
however
I believe that Add a comma
however,
this
approach is not sufficient and complementary policies are required to be taken.
It has been proved that consuming sugary commodities can cause various illnesses for Linking Words
human
, including blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease. To diminish eating or drinking these products like cola or pastry, applying more taxes on Fix the agreement mistake
humans
these stuff
is suggested. Change the determiner
this stuff
Furthermore
, users should be encouraged to use healthier alternatives. Linking Words
For instance
, promoting the consumption of natural fruit juice, date, honey or syrup of grapes in a daily diet in order to obviate the human’s natural need for sweet substances
Linking Words
Nevertheless
, governments could play a crucial role in the betterment of societies. It can be achieved, if governments allocate funds for gathering harmless and affordable sweetener substances Linking Words
such
as natural fruit juice, date, honey or syrup of grapes. Linking Words
Then
, expecting a healthy society would be reasonable. Linking Words
Moreover
, Linking Words
since
many populations are not aware of the hazardous impacts of Correct word choice
apply
the
sugary products on Correct article usage
apply
individuals
health. Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
Hence
, educating and informing them of the fatal and disastrous impacts could Linking Words
result
a significant reduction of the used sugary products.
In conclusion, it has been well established that eating or drinking artificial sweeteners could have irreparable Add the preposition
result in
result from
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
on
consumer’s health. Change preposition
to
While
increasing taxes on these items is an efficient step, a more comprehensive approach is necessary. Governments can improve societal well-being by investing in and promoting healthier alternatives and educating the public about the risks of sugary commoditiesLinking Words
Submitted by golriiz23 on
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