As compared to the past, children these days spend more of their leisure time indoors with computers and TV and less time outdoors. Describe some of the problems this lack of outdoor leisure time can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.

#children #leisure #time #indoors #computers #tv #lack

To commence with, there are several positive things to give free offspring.

Firstly

, they can easily learn new things very easily and with proper knowledge and guidance they become a good citizen.

Secondly

, it is not only beneficial for their parents but

also

for the country's economy will be boosted very easily.

Thirdly

children

can achieve any goal they want to achieve in their lives.

For instance

, the majority of

children

want to become sports person but their parents are not allowed

therefore

they do not become sports person.

Furthermore

children

find some kind of extra responsibility become independent in their lives show more patience

while

doing something new.

Additionally

, they can easily fulfil their family members' requirements and lots of money from their passion.

On the other hand

, if

children

get more freedom

then

they miss use of

this

opportunity. They do not focus their study on their school time and easily distracted and do other activities

such

as drinking and smoking which can be not good for their future.

In addition

, they do not like to listen to their parent's advice or teacher's and waste their money and time. To give an overview, it is true that,

children

need to require more freedom as compared to the past become at that time they could easily learn some new activities, do other work and many more.

Nevertheless

, parents and coaches should keep an eye on what they do in their lives.

Submitted by er.lerulal on Sun Oct 22 2023

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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As compared to the past, children these days spend more of their leisure time indoors with computers and TV and less time outdoors. Describe some of the problems this lack of outdoor leisure time can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Detailed describtion of crimes on newspaper and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be banned in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community?

The government should lower the budget on art in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?