IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #buildings #ones
Nowadays society
begin
Wrong verb form
has begun
show examples
 to think that
acient
Correct your spelling
ancient
 buildings
cost
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of funding in case just to repair
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, come
with
Change preposition
up with
show examples
solution
Add an article
a solution
show examples
 to demolish the old building, change it to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 modern
one
 or can be said as build
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new building.
However
, I tend to disagree with
this
 idea and will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 explanation in
this
 essay. On the
one
 hand, ancient buildings save and have meaningful
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
show examples
 behind
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For instance
,
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of
Oxford
 in
Oxford
, United Kingdom.
This
university
created
Add a missing verb
was created
show examples
 in 1096 and
evidence
Add a missing verb
is evidence
show examples
 of the first-early of teaching in
this
 world. The building itself is
very
Rephrase
apply
show examples
unique, typically Europe ancient
building
Correct word choice
European building
show examples
 in the past. Till now, the building of
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 itself still
endure
Wrong verb form
endured
show examples
 because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 collaboration of
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 and the government, the government even
gives
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 some funding voluntarily to support
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
reparation
 of the number
one
world class
Add a hyphen
world-class
show examples
university
 in their country.
Furthermore
, they won't the historical
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 that have
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 history to be broken or dirty.
On the other hand
, tough
reparation
 is expensive enough, building
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new building, or even
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 modern building is more expensive. The architect from
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of
Oxford
 ever been asked
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
reparation
, and he answered it is just about
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
poundsterling
Correct your spelling
pounds sterling
pound sterling
 per year, he
also
 added that it is cheaper than building new-modern typical building like
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 new library in the west side of
Oxford
 with the price thousands
poundsterling
Correct your spelling
pound sterling
, excluding the insurance and the
reparation
cost
. In conclusion, repairing the ancient building is so much better idea than
demolish
Wrong verb form
demolishing
show examples
 it and creating
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new
one
, because the
cost
 of
demolish
Change the verb form
demolishing
show examples
 is
also
 high, including the risks.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Preservation
  • Restoration
  • Demolition
  • Architectural heritage
  • Cultural significance
  • Tourist attraction
  • Urban landscape
  • Sustainability
  • Conservation
  • Economic benefits
  • Historical landmarks
  • Urban renewal
  • Infrastructure
  • Maintenance costs
  • Modern amenities
  • Building regulations
  • Community identity
  • Heritage conservation
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