IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Your friend has been offered a place on a course at the university where you studied. He/She would like your advice about finding a place to live.

#friend #place #course #university #advice
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Dear Mohit, How are you? Hope you are in good health and in high spirits. I am writing
this
 letter to express my happiness that you have been offered a Business Communication course at Khalsa
College
. I know
this
 course is highly recommended by our experts who have good knowledge in management studies and completing
this
 course will give you ample opportunities for searching suitable job. I want to share my experience when I joined
this
college
 three years ago, I lived near a guest house just opposite
this
college
 as there were excellent apartments and a fully furnished flats system which
also
 provided facilities of meals and they charged around eight thousand a month. If you are planning to stay near
this
college
, you can take advice from the
college
 staff for an appropriate guest house
otherwise
, you can stay near to
college
 where I stayed during my term in
this
college
 as these guest houses are safe for
college
 students. There are so many flats and apartments which are not safe to stay in as people nearby localities sometimes harsh to students
therefore
 better to stay just near to
college
 which gives you safety measures. Hope you find my suggestions suitable. Feel free to touch base with me in case
further
 advice is required on
this
 aspect. Best regards, Amandeep
Submitted by deep.amans86 on

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task achievement
Address all parts of the task more fully and provide a more detailed advice on different accommodation options and their pros and cons.
coherence and cohesion
Improve logical organization and paragraphing, and utilise a wider range of cohesive devices.
lexical resource
Utilize a broader lexical range with less common vocabulary and more precise expressions.
grammatical range
Employ a greater variety of complex sentence structures while maintaining control of grammar and punctuation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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