More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, overweight status become more popular all over the world. Everyone
think
high food prices will prevent Change the verb form
thinks
this problems
. In my Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
opinon
, there are more reasons Correct your spelling
opinion
lead
to Correct pronoun usage
that lead
overweight
of Add a missing verb
being overweight
people
.
Lacking
of work out is Replace the word
Lack
a
important factor. The body creates energy when we eat food and Change the article
an
consuming
them when we work out.
Wrong verb form
consume
With
society today, Change preposition
In
people
eat many
food and don’t do exercise Correct word choice
apply
lead
to excess fat Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
accumulated
in the body Wrong verb form
accumulating
result
in Wrong verb form
resulting
people
become
overweight.We can conclude that less Wrong verb form
becoming
work out
will help easily catch overweight.
Correct your spelling
workout
In stead
of Correct your spelling
Instead
increase
the price of high fat products, Change the verb form
increasing
Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
should annouces Correct your spelling
government
people
to join activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
such
as go
Wrong verb form
going
to
Change preposition
for
the
walk, Correct article usage
apply
do
exercise, Wrong verb form
doing
so
on.Correct word choice
and so
Besides
, at
Change preposition
apply
local
should place many competitions about health and physical to encourage everyone Fix the agreement mistake
locals
play
.
Fix the infinitive
to play
On the other hand
, increase
Correct article usage
an increase
the
price Change preposition
in the
make
consumer Wrong verb form
made
purchase
was much affected.
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
Especiall
, Correct your spelling
Especially
people
who needing
them Wrong verb form
need
such
as overweight or normal people
. With normal people
they can need them to enjoy. Add a comma
people,
Although
, overweigh
Correct your spelling
overweight
people
wouldn’tt
be lose Correct your spelling
wouldn’t
controlled
if they didn’t have them.
For Replace the word
control
examples
, in Fix the agreement mistake
example
America
the number of Add a comma
America,
people
who with obesity
Replace the word
obese
very
high but the Add a missing verb
is very
goverments
didn’t apply Correct your spelling
government
governments
this
solution instead
of they organised many sport
activities and encouraged Change the noun form
sports
people
to join it
.
Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, for people
suffering from obesity. If they don’t have a balanced diet suitable, they can die or lose of
many other abilities.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
i
Change the capitalization
I
am disagree
with Change the verb form
disagree
increase
the prices ofChange the verb form
increasing
Add an article
the
a
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
instead
of
Change preposition
apply
we
should encourage them Correct pronoun usage
apply
join
activities more and have a good diet.Add the particle
to join
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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your opinion on the issue and provides a preview of the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a more logical and coherent manner. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that there is a logical flow of ideas between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and accurately. Use a variety of sentence structures to add complexity to your writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your grammar and sentence structure. Review subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence formation to improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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