IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

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Science
Use synonyms
 is an interesting,fantastic topic for the world.Someone
told
Verb problem
said
show examples
 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
most
Add an article
a most
the most
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 important point of
science
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 and
technology
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 is improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lives
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I hope to discuss both points of that and
finally
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 would like to give my opinion. After 2000, we can see a great development in
science
Use synonyms
 before
than
Replace the word
then
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 that years,because before as we think about Sri
lanka
Change the capitalization
Lanka
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 we didn't
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
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facilities
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 to even communicate. So now there is a big difference from that period,even though we don't know about other countries day to day-to-day news. But now thanks to
science
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 human species
lives
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 and lifes increased demand for health
facilities
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, transport,the internet,food production information
technology
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facilities
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 etc, that give more benefits to boost
people
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's
lives
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 by decreasing diseases from various infections, demand educational value from online platforms and vehicle
facilities
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 to transport. etc. All of the benefits develop on the improvement of
science
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 and
technology
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it will give more benefits even though there are some disadvantages
due to
Linking Words
 improvements in
science
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 and
technology
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. Predominantly today
people
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 haven't enough physical
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
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, So
this
Linking Words
 issue regards obesity,high blood pressure,diabetes etc.
People
Use synonyms
 always trying to do anything easily, so they do have not enough physical activities like walking,running, swimming and riding. Before 2000, when
was
Correct pronoun usage
there was
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 not
know
Replace the word
knowledge
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 about
technology
Use synonyms
 there
have not
Verb problem
was
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any
Correct determiner usage
no
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 obesity or non-communicable diseases,
that's
Verb problem
which
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 are rare. Every man/woman walks 20 minutes per day. on that day families
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
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 grow their own vegetables and fruits, that are fresh and healthy. In conclusion, there are great advantages to
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
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,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
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 little disadvantages to it, it seems to me
science
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 and
technology
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 improve our
people
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's
lives
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 more than it disadvantages. But we can
be doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 enough exercise and improve grow habits we can develop them more than. So I think with
science
Use synonyms
 without missing some old habits we can go ahead.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
What to do next:
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