IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

#aim #science #people #lives
Science
 is an interesting,fantastic topic for the world.Someone
told
Verb problem
said
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 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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most
Add an article
a most
the most
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 important point of
science
 and
technology
 is improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
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lives
. In
this
 essay, I hope to discuss both points of that and
finally
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to give my opinion. After 2000, we can see a great development in
science
 before
than
Replace the word
then
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 that years,because before as we think about Sri
lanka
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Lanka
show examples
 we didn't
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
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facilities
 to even communicate. So now there is a big difference from that period,even though we don't know about other countries day to day-to-day news. But now thanks to
science
 human species
lives
 and lifes increased demand for health
facilities
, transport,the internet,food production information
technology
facilities
 etc, that give more benefits to boost
people
's
lives
 by decreasing diseases from various infections, demand educational value from online platforms and vehicle
facilities
 to transport. etc. All of the benefits develop on the improvement of
science
 and
technology
.
On the other hand
, it will give more benefits even though there are some disadvantages
due to
 improvements in
science
 and
technology
. Predominantly today
people
 haven't enough physical
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
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, So
this
 issue regards obesity,high blood pressure,diabetes etc.
People
 always trying to do anything easily, so they do have not enough physical activities like walking,running, swimming and riding. Before 2000, when
was
Correct pronoun usage
there was
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 not
know
Replace the word
knowledge
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 about
technology
 there
have not
Verb problem
was
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any
Correct determiner usage
no
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 obesity or non-communicable diseases,
that's
Verb problem
which
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 are rare. Every man/woman walks 20 minutes per day. on that day families
in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
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 grow their own vegetables and fruits, that are fresh and healthy. In conclusion, there are great advantages to
science
 and
technology
,
on the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
 little disadvantages to it, it seems to me
science
 and
technology
 improve our
people
's
lives
 more than it disadvantages. But we can
be doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 enough exercise and improve grow habits we can develop them more than. So I think with
science
 without missing some old habits we can go ahead.
Submitted by rnjayasinghe71 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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