Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,

museums

are one of the perfect destinations for foreigners who want to know the country better. It has led to a topic of discussion about whether the advantages of an entry fee outweigh the downside and whether it should be cost-free so that

everyone

can enter

museums

. From my point of view, charging people could have a more positive impact because we can get marvellous experiences. The main negative point is that,

due to

the cost, not

everyone

can see the ancient artefacts, especially the underprivileged ones.

Moreover

, in poor countries, many people do not have enough money for food or shelter, let alone go to see these things.

For instance

, native citizen families living in poverty in Langkat, North Sumatra,

Indonesia

want to know the history of their country, but the economy is the problem.

However

, the government’s subvention could not cover it

due to

the budget of expenses not being comparable with income. Despite

this

, galleries have to earn pennies to keep the doors open. The cost is used to maintain some sites, hire staff, and repair a building. With

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good architecture, there will be more people

want

Correct pronoun usage

who want

show examples

take

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

visit.

For example

, the survey from

Indonesia

University

state

Correct subject-verb agreement

states

show examples

that 67%

citizens

Change preposition

of citizens

show examples

Indonesia

willing

Add a missing verb

are willing

show examples

paid expensive

Wrong verb form

pay

show examples

for

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

place at

museums

other than

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

a free past but

uncomfortable

Add a missing verb

being uncomfortable

show examples

owing to there being no cleaning service.

Furthermore

, the paying out can hire a guide so that

everyone

will have someone to tell the behind stories of architecture in there that will somehow lift up people’s knowledge. A professional historian can be employed if there is a budget for that. To give an idea, there

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a parents

bring

Wrong verb form

bringing

show examples

their kids to visit Kebun Raya in Bogor,

Indonesia

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

protest

Wrong verb form

protested

show examples

the

museums

and left bad ratingbecause did not provide

tour

Correct article usage

a tour

show examples

guide;

however

, they said

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

be happy to have extra charges to get the story telling for their kids. To summarise, there are more benefits than drawbacks to charging a fee for

everyone

who wants to enter the place because the experience we get will be worth the price. Alongside

this

, the spending will have a high rate and can make the places go bankrupt.

Submitted by heyyo on Sun Oct 22 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

371 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fee
Revenue stream
Maintenance
Overcrowding
Commercialization
Cultural heritage
Diverse attendance
Community ownership
Access to culture
Visitor experience
Exhibit quality
Cultural mission
Reliance on funding
Government subsidies
Cultural accessibility

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

ILETS WRITING 2 - OPINION Essay Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centre or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

for schoolchildren , their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents . to what extent do you agree or disagree.